Mental health night

There are roughly 5 million things I should be doing right now. I should be scouring this week's Wall Street Journals for articles that I can use for my marketing class. I should be doing the giant stack of dishes that is piled all over the kitchen, a stack that is threatening to overtake San Diego any minute now. I should be doing my online traffic school so I can get it done and turned into the county by September 30th (I got a speeding ticket this summer, going 90 up the 805. The CHP officer was kind enough to make the ticket for going 84 instead so that it is only going to cost me $315 instead a gatrillion.) I should be knitting furiously so I can finish the blanket I was making for Miss Charlotte, who was born three weeks ago.

There are roughly 5 million things I should be doing, and I am doing none of them because for the first time in roughly 2 months, I am home alone with no plans and I have been since 5:15 this evening. My head almost exploded with the possibilities for the evening.

And instead of doing any of the 5 million responsible, adult things I should be doing, I made cookies and talked on the phone for almost an hour with an old friend from high school. I checked out the Facebook profile of my high school prom date (he's a nurse in Minnesota now, it looks like) and played 10 rounds of Pathwords until I finally broke 1000.

I have about another hour of alone time, a commodity more precious than gold these days. I could go to the gym, but there are some awfully cute cats wrapping themselves around my ankles and I think that instead of doing anything responsible, I think I will curl up on the couch with them and a sparkly vampire book and just one more banana cookie instead.

It's good for my head.

Summer without the vacation

When you're little and there's no school for three whole months, the summer stretches out ahead of you in a neverending haze of heat and boredom. And then you grow up and summer suddenly becomes this insane whirlwind of BBQs and parties and trying to soak up every last bit of sunshine that you can during the longer daylight hours.

I have no idea how it's already September. It's September and my head is spinning because I started a new job and my friend got pregnant and my other friend got married and another friend had a baby and my husband had a birthday and now the summer is over. (I'm still wearing my white shoes though.)

So after life was done eating me alive and spitting me out, I thought "Hey, I have a blog! I should write in it or something!"

Remember how we got that kitten? Well, she has turned out to be COMPLETELY INSANE. But she does play fetch, and she's still awfully cute, so despite the sudden swarm mentality that happened when we went from 2 cats to 3 cats, we're settled in pretty well. But then we took Abbie in for her baseline senior cat work up, and it turned out the pound or two she had lost was not from running around with the kitten. Instead, it was because her thyroid is all wonky and hyperactive and we have two choices for treating it: pill her twice a day for the rest of her life (8-10 years, that) or spend $1200 to send her to a special clinic to get shot up with radioactive iodine and kept until she is no longer glowing.

(Did I mention she's an incredibly picky eater who snubs pill pockets? And also gigantic with a propensity for biting when upset?)

The pilling was a gigantic wrestling match between Abbie and us for the first week or so, and that $1200 was looking totally worth it. But then all of a sudden she started chilling out about it and pilling her is a 30 second moment. Good thing, too, since now she also needs antihistimines so she'll stop pulling out all her damn fur. Seriously, she was looking like a candidate for the Hair Club for Cats (or perhaps a Kitty Wig?) for awhile there. But all the meds are working and now she's fat and fluffy again. Hooray for pharmaceuticals!

Speaking of pharmaceuticals, have I mentioned that I love my new job? Because oh, I do. It's incredibly busy and dynamic and exhausting but it's nice to finally feel like my brain is being put to good use again. Good thing, too since I went back to school last month and whoa nelly. Too much freakin' homework.

So my life right now is work, school, Heart Walk, and an occasional social gathering. And sometimes I work out, but more often I eat chocolate.

And now,I blog again. Seriously.

What we need more of is science

When I was a junior in college, I had a friend named Holly who worked in a neuroscience lab as a lab assistant. We were psych undergrads together, and when her lab needed another assistant she asked if I wanted to come join her. So I did, and i found myself immersed in lab meetings and experiments and data crunching.

And I loved it. I loved the drunken conversations at our weekly happy hour meetings, conversations about theories behind phobias and stories about lab mishaps that had us rolling with laughter. It was enough for me to be around the science, to absorb the info and be awed by the things our professor was exploring. I didn't want to actually design the studies or do the final analysis but I loved listening to all of them talk about their work.

The lab moved away my senior year, the professor lured to the Arizona desert by promises of tenure and new lab equipment. But when I was done with college and my misguided first attempt at grad school, I needed a job. And since San Diego is a hotbed of biotech (much like the Bay Area), I of course ended up working for a small contract research organization. But then they went out of business so I moved on to a small pharmaceutical R&D because being at the CRO made me remember how much I liked being around the science. I left the small company to go work at a big giant research facility and realized that I love science but I hate academia.

And so I left science behind and for a job at a big, giant defense contractor (because if there is one thing San Diego has more of than biotech, it's defense contractors). I was good at my job and it was interesting and new and I was happy.

But that was six years ago, and lately I've been bored because my job has gotten routine and stagnant and there's not really any room for growth for me. So when my friend mentioned that her company was looking for a new office manager/process manager/executive assistant and asked if I'd be interested, I told her sure, what the heck. And the more she told me about the job, the more I thought that hey, I would be really good at this job, and hey, it's a job that has a TON of growth potential. The best part?

My friend's company is a small pharmaceutical R&D that is doing some really awesome and innovative work.

Today I found out that the job is mine. I'm signing the offer letter tomorrow morning, and I've effectively quit my job (the official resignation is going in tomorrow morning but the important people already know).

So on the 25th, I'm walking away from defense contracting. And on the 28th, I'm going back to science.

And I couldn't be happier.

Out of practice

Would you believe me if I said that every single weekend in June was totally booked for me? As in every Saturday and every Sunday I had something scheduled: tattoo sessions, company picnics, bridal showers, Little League games, a trip to Vegas, trips to the vet and a date to see Kung Fu Panda with T. And this weekend is no different; Saturday is a full day of scrapbooking and Sunday is Stitch & Pitch. And then poof, June is over.

And I'm having a very hard time typing this because Miss Vivianne has decided she needs to be RIGHT UP ON ME all night tonight. (Do kittens have separation anxiety? Or is she just being clingy for the fuck of it?) We've integrated her into the family completely now, and everyone seems to be surviving. Abbie is much more tolerant in her old age; she isn't hissing nearly as much as she did when I got Riley and she even plays with Vivi sometimes. Riley is having none of it though and keeps acting like a grumpy old man. My poor sweet boy, so worn out by this little adorable bundle of energy.

In the meantime, there's another reorg happening at work and my boss is leaving and my job is in flux so I'm exploring my options. So I went on an interview this week for a job that I would be really good at but I'm 99% sure I'm not going to get, and one of my friends desperately wants me to come work for her company but needs to create the job for me first. I'm in the very lucky position of having a lot of options, and none of them are the unemployment line. More than a lot of people in this country can say right now.

I could have sworn I had more things to say tonight, but I think my blogging abilities are suffering from too many distractions these days. Twitter and Facebook and LiveJournal all play to my ADD tendencies entirely too well. But seriously, these entries? They'll get better someday soon. There's just way too many things for me to talk about for me to stop blogging now.

Expect the unexpected

Pink toes!
Originally uploaded by Minarae

If there is one thing Kevin has learned about life with me, it is to never be surprised because really, anything is possible.

I may head out to wander the town with a visiting friend, only to have to call him and say "Hey, we're going to be later than I thought because I'm totally getting a tattoo right now! Also, can you please transfer some money from the savings account for me?" And because I am who I am and our lives are what they are, he will laugh and say okay and transfer the money for me.

Or I may go wine tasting with my best friend, and then come home with not just 5 bottles of wine, but 5 bottles of wine and TWO wine club memberships despite the fact that A) I get drunk on half a glass of wine now and B) he does not drink wine so C) wow, that's a lot of wine for our household! (That one did earn me a small eyeroll, I think.)

People have asked me if Kevin ever gets really, truly angry at anything and I said "Not really, except for bowling. Bowling pisses him off." But last week I really tried his patience when I called him in the middle of the day and "asked" if we could take in a kitten that was currently in the possession of my (who is 12 years old and so not really the most clear thinker in situations like this) Little Sister. He said okay, mostly because (as he said, and I have to agree with) the decision had really already been made. And so because he loves me so very much and has the patience of a goddamned saint, I brought home a teeny, tiny little kitten last week. As I told my Little Sister, both she and the kitten are lucky that they are cute, because despite her teeny tinyness, the kitten is very much a Big Ball of PITA.

She's six weeks old, which means we can't test her for FIV or FeLV for another 3 weeks. And that means she is currently on lockdown in the bathroom, since our other cats cannot be exposed to her until she's cleared. She had fleas and ringworm, and has to go in for a lime sulfur dip every weekend until the ringworm clears up, so we are now fanatical hand-washers. Skin cultures and fecal testing and baths and vaccinations and exams and yadda yadda made her a $400 kitten. (I told Kevin that at that price, maybe we should name her Caviar since the cost per ounce is about the same.)

We did not name her Caviar (Little Sister had named her Oreo but I am against naming pets after food products); her name is instead Vivianne, because she is prissy and petite and adventurous all at once and Vivianne just fits her. We call her Vivi for short, but have also taken to calling her Chowhound (since she eats VERY WELL) and Snack (since at 1.8 pounds she is perfectly snack sized for Abbie). She already recognizes Kevin and I as "her people" and purrs like the dickens when we go in the bathroom and she hears our voices. She would very much like to leave the bathroom now, and has learned how to both climb up your legs if you are wearing pants and how to jump from the top of her carrier to the toilet. She is totally getting her claws clipped tonight.

So May has been an adventurous month for us. There was a car that crashed into our building, I bought a lot of wine, I got a tattoo and now, we have a kitten. On the good side, Kevin can never say that life with me is boring. (And he has other proof too.)

Guess it's a good thing I'm so cute too.

Hello, 33

Sunburned birthday girl
Originally uploaded by Minarae

This is what 33 looks like.

33 still forgets to put on enough sunblock sometimes, but 33 also has enough makeup skills to be able to cover up the resulting sunburned nose.

33 drives a car that's probably a little too nice for her, but damn she looks good in it. 33 also doesn't think that a $20,000 loan is very large.

33 doesn't go bar hopping anymore, but she does go wine tasting because 33 believes it's okay to get drunk as long as it's tasteful and you are surrounded by friends.

33 has given up her subscription to Glamour and Cosmo and is considering subscribing to Real Simple and O instead because 33 has stopped worrying about catching a man and has started worrying about keeping her man healthy and organized.

33 has been with the same company for over 5 years, has a 401K, a profit sharing plan and plenty of life insurance. But 33 still loves the color pink and Hello Kitty.

33 has a small group of friends than 22 did, but 33's friends are way more awesome and she loves them fiercely.

33 has started worrying about who's going to take care of her parents and her parent-in-law when they start getting old aged and sick. 33 has started looking into long-term care insurance for herself.

33 wants a dog like a heroin addict wants a needle but she doesn't want children, and she's really tired of people pressuring her to have the latter. But 33 really likes hanging out with her friends' kids because they are funny and smart and are really ticklish.

33 will never stop tickling her husband even though he hates it. 33 feels pretty lucky to have a husband who adores her so openly because it makes it a lot easier for her to adore him back.

33 is finally getting off her butt and going to school so she can start living up to her potential. But 33 really hates doing homework and has a paper to do this week.

33 believes she is too old for cheap shoes and too young for ugly ones. 33 has a small addiction to dresses this year.

33 has great health, a great car, a great boss, great friends and a great husband. 33 feels guilty wishing for anything more, but she can't help daydreaming about Mediterranean cruises.

33 needs a pedicure, tends to talk too much and too loud, and has a hard time with the whole budget thing. 33 still has some major insecurity issues, but she's working on them.

33 is less than 24 hours old, but she's looking pretty damn good from here.

Happy birthday to me, baby.

Kids Today

Kids Today
Originally uploaded by Minarae

I have a lot of friends who are teachers. Elementary school teachers, day care providers, high school teachers, they pretty much cover the spectrum. And I hear some really funny stories from them because seriously, kids today are just as hilarious as we all were back when we were in school.

Case in point: a note found in the trash of one of my friends' classrooms, filled with angst and txt talk and BOYS! Because it always comes back to boys if it's a note between teenage girls.

I highly suggest you click here and read the note in its entirety because I guarantee it will bring back memories of your own note passing days. I kind of wish I still had some of mine to post here.

Okay, no I don't. But I am kind of considering passing notes to my boss instead of emails.

"Is 1:00pm a good time for tomorrow's meeting??? Check yes or no"

He'd love that, I just know it.