All Things Woompty

I was young and drunk, okay?

Februarium Entry #4: Where You've Loved

(Hey look, an entry with no Kevin in it! Because we're boring and don't like having uncomfortable sex)

The year was 1999. It had been about two years since I had done the horizontal mambo, and over a year since the Arnold fiasco. I was finally coming out of the semi-vegetative depression that had gotten a hold of me (thank you, pharmaceutical industry!) and I was finally wanting to have a social life. So one day, bored at work, I decided to post a personal ad on Yahoo personals. I got enough responses to keep myself busy with emails and phone calls from a few of them, and the first one I went out on a date with was a guy named Nick.

As soon as Nick walked up to the Old Town restaurant where we were meeting, I knew I was not his type (a fact which was reinforced many hours later, after quite a few beers when he admitted this too me, to which I replied "Yeah, my ass is entirely too big for someone like you") and honestly, he wasn't mine either. But hey, we were there, we got along, so we headed inside to have dinner.

Nick was originally from Alaska, and had moved down to San Diego to help his unmarried sister out with her son. He had the unfortunate luck to be living in Hillcrest and driving a Miata, which left a number of the women he met assuming he was gay. Dinner was entertaining, probably because of the margaritas we had been consuming. We ended up heading down the street to yet another Old Town bar to consume yards of beer. I was very, very drunk and despite our mutual agreement that we would never be interested in dating each other, we could not seem to just say goodnight and go home.

So, we wandered down the street to a tiny little graveyard that still exists in the middle of Old Town and sat on a bench to talk after wandering around reading all the gravestones. And since we were drunk and had both already discussed the fact that neither of us ad had sex in entirely too long, Nick eventually looked at me and admitted that while my ass was too big for him, I was still really pretty and he just wanted to kiss me. So he did. And we kissed and kissed and made out for awhile and eventually we ended up on the ground in a corner of that graveyard in the smack dab middle of Old Town.

And then, since a condom somehow appeared, we ended up having sex. At least I guess we could call it that. I didn't even get my undies taken off, they were just shoved out of the way by Nick in a strange clumsy way. It was a definite wham-bam-thank you-ma'am moment. But it was still exhilarating in its own way, mostly because I had never done something like that ever before in my life.

Nick and I cleaned ourselves up, picking leaves out of our hair and laughing. It was almost 2 in the morning and the streets were empty aside from our two cars and some mist. He walked me to my car, kissed me on my cheek and told me to drive safe. And then, as he headed to his own car, he stopped and turned and then said the coolest thing he could have said at that moment.

"I'm going to tell my grandkids this story some day."

Romantic? No. Fucking awesome? Yep.

After Nick came the period that was the most active my dating life had ever been. That night in the graveyard was just the jumpstart I needed, even if it was completely undignified. Heh.

(And no, Nick and I never saw each other again. Which is exactly the way this story should end.)

posted by Melinda @ 8:22 PM