(I have no idea where I found this, but it was a nice little meme....)
**25 years ago**
I was 5, and I was in kindergarten, where I had two "boyfirends" who were both older than me since I was in a mixed Kindergarten/first grade class. I was an equal opportunity dater too...Harold was black and Adam was white. Harold gave me his bananas out of his school lunch because he knew I liked them and Adam took my pickles from my school lunch because he knew I hated them. I switched schools after kindergarten.
**20 years ago**
I was 10, and my grandparents had passed away less than a year before. Emily and Elizabeth were my best friends, and we were all in Girl Scouts together. My fourth grade class had a competition to see who in the class could read the most pages in a set amount of days, and we each had spaceships that marked our progress. Mine went up the wall and continued halfway across the ceiling before the contest was over. I totally won.
**15 years ago**
I was 15 and I was having horrible earaches. My mom took me to the urgent care where we were told it wasn't my ears that were the problem, it was my jaw. A few weeks later I got to hear my jaw joint making the telltale noises of TMJ dysfunction, like crunchy paper crinkling as a Doppler was pressed to my cheek. The discs in my jaw joints had slipped completely out. I spent the next nine months lisping around the heavy acrylic splint I had to wear constantly.
**10 years ago**
I was 20 and I was living with three other girls in Los Angeles, behind Fraternity Row. The girl I shared a room with hated me as much as I hated her, despite the fact that we had started the year off as friends. I spent most of my time during the week at my next door neighbor's apartment, drinking Coke and coloring my hair. I loved the weekends, when The Bitch would go home and the apartment would be quiet and peaceful and my other roommate and I would spend all morning either in the pool or basking in the spring sun.
**5 years ago**
I was 25 and I was depressed. Mortally, thoroughly, in need of medication depressed. I felt very little and cared even less. I stopped paying my bills yet had no money. If you asked me now what I spent it on, I would not be able to tell you. I ate my weight in Papa John's cheese sticks and Ben & Jerry's Mint Chocolate Cookie ice cream. I broke down crying in my doctor's office for no reason, and when she asked me how long that had been happening, I couldn't remember when it hadn't been happening. I walked out with a prescription for Effexor clutched in my hand like it was the Holy Grail of Sanity.
**3 years ago**
I was 27 and I was still screwing my ex-boyfriend. We'd broken up 8 months beforehand, broken up in a bad, ugly, horrific scene, but we had ended up back in bed with each other. There was no reason for it, other than being too scared to move on. Eventually, we exploded again, this time for real and forever, and I had to move on. Two weeks later, I "met" Kevin.
**Last year**
I was turning 29 and all I wanted for my birthday was a trip to Disneyland. And so Kevin took me there, just the two of us. He didn't want to pose for any cheesy pictures, but he did it anyway, with really very little pouting on my part. That night, we stayed at a Holiday Inn in Fullerton or La Brea or someplace like that and watched porn and got up the next morning and went to California Adventure and when we got home, we were exhausted.
**This year**
I'm on the cusp of 30, and I can't wait to get there. My 20's were relatively craptastic, but my 30's look to be fabulous. In an odd quirk, this year I'm turning 30, my boss is turning 40, one coworker in my division is turning 50 and another one is turning 60. And all of us except my boss have birthdays in May. This little fact amuses me, even if pointing it out to the three of them made them a little bitter since they aren't as excited about their milestones as I am about mine.
**Yesterday**
I received a beautiful arrangement of flowers from my boss, who was gone all day. My boss' boss and boss' deputy and boss' peer took me and another admin out to lunch, and yet I was still grumpy when I arrived at the bowling alley, where I narrowly avoided becoming the latest woman to try using the PMS defense at her murder trial.
**Today**
I woke up panicking about money, then did a half hour of high intensity aerobics in hopes of feeling better. I wrestled a 6 pound turkey breast into the CrockPot by breaking a few of its ribs. I got soaked by the morning's downpour, and I sat through an interminable meeting. I gave in and had some M&M's.
**Tomorrow**
My boss is off on vacation with his family, and I'm forcing him to leave his Blackberry behind when he leaves tonight. I'm going to get up early enough to both work out and still be able to stop and get some coffee with the S-bucks card the finance staff gave me yesterday. I get paid, so I can finally go buy the prsent I need to pick up for the baby shower I'm going to on Saturday. And tomorrow is Feline Friday, hooray!
**25 years ago**
I was 5, and I was in kindergarten, where I had two "boyfirends" who were both older than me since I was in a mixed Kindergarten/first grade class. I was an equal opportunity dater too...Harold was black and Adam was white. Harold gave me his bananas out of his school lunch because he knew I liked them and Adam took my pickles from my school lunch because he knew I hated them. I switched schools after kindergarten.
**20 years ago**
I was 10, and my grandparents had passed away less than a year before. Emily and Elizabeth were my best friends, and we were all in Girl Scouts together. My fourth grade class had a competition to see who in the class could read the most pages in a set amount of days, and we each had spaceships that marked our progress. Mine went up the wall and continued halfway across the ceiling before the contest was over. I totally won.
**15 years ago**
I was 15 and I was having horrible earaches. My mom took me to the urgent care where we were told it wasn't my ears that were the problem, it was my jaw. A few weeks later I got to hear my jaw joint making the telltale noises of TMJ dysfunction, like crunchy paper crinkling as a Doppler was pressed to my cheek. The discs in my jaw joints had slipped completely out. I spent the next nine months lisping around the heavy acrylic splint I had to wear constantly.
**10 years ago**
I was 20 and I was living with three other girls in Los Angeles, behind Fraternity Row. The girl I shared a room with hated me as much as I hated her, despite the fact that we had started the year off as friends. I spent most of my time during the week at my next door neighbor's apartment, drinking Coke and coloring my hair. I loved the weekends, when The Bitch would go home and the apartment would be quiet and peaceful and my other roommate and I would spend all morning either in the pool or basking in the spring sun.
**5 years ago**
I was 25 and I was depressed. Mortally, thoroughly, in need of medication depressed. I felt very little and cared even less. I stopped paying my bills yet had no money. If you asked me now what I spent it on, I would not be able to tell you. I ate my weight in Papa John's cheese sticks and Ben & Jerry's Mint Chocolate Cookie ice cream. I broke down crying in my doctor's office for no reason, and when she asked me how long that had been happening, I couldn't remember when it hadn't been happening. I walked out with a prescription for Effexor clutched in my hand like it was the Holy Grail of Sanity.
**3 years ago**
I was 27 and I was still screwing my ex-boyfriend. We'd broken up 8 months beforehand, broken up in a bad, ugly, horrific scene, but we had ended up back in bed with each other. There was no reason for it, other than being too scared to move on. Eventually, we exploded again, this time for real and forever, and I had to move on. Two weeks later, I "met" Kevin.
**Last year**
I was turning 29 and all I wanted for my birthday was a trip to Disneyland. And so Kevin took me there, just the two of us. He didn't want to pose for any cheesy pictures, but he did it anyway, with really very little pouting on my part. That night, we stayed at a Holiday Inn in Fullerton or La Brea or someplace like that and watched porn and got up the next morning and went to California Adventure and when we got home, we were exhausted.
**This year**
I'm on the cusp of 30, and I can't wait to get there. My 20's were relatively craptastic, but my 30's look to be fabulous. In an odd quirk, this year I'm turning 30, my boss is turning 40, one coworker in my division is turning 50 and another one is turning 60. And all of us except my boss have birthdays in May. This little fact amuses me, even if pointing it out to the three of them made them a little bitter since they aren't as excited about their milestones as I am about mine.
**Yesterday**
I received a beautiful arrangement of flowers from my boss, who was gone all day. My boss' boss and boss' deputy and boss' peer took me and another admin out to lunch, and yet I was still grumpy when I arrived at the bowling alley, where I narrowly avoided becoming the latest woman to try using the PMS defense at her murder trial.
**Today**
I woke up panicking about money, then did a half hour of high intensity aerobics in hopes of feeling better. I wrestled a 6 pound turkey breast into the CrockPot by breaking a few of its ribs. I got soaked by the morning's downpour, and I sat through an interminable meeting. I gave in and had some M&M's.
**Tomorrow**
My boss is off on vacation with his family, and I'm forcing him to leave his Blackberry behind when he leaves tonight. I'm going to get up early enough to both work out and still be able to stop and get some coffee with the S-bucks card the finance staff gave me yesterday. I get paid, so I can finally go buy the prsent I need to pick up for the baby shower I'm going to on Saturday. And tomorrow is Feline Friday, hooray!
1 Comments:
Enjoyed a lot!
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