It turns out that it takes very little to turn my mood completely around. Last week found me waking up 5 or six times a night, gripped by panic or embroiled in some strange anxiety driven dream. I was officially Not Doing Well, both mentally and emotionally. Seriously, you should have seen some of the emails that flew out of my inbox. I was surprised none of my friends called Kevin to tell him I needed to be committed.
Anyway, this week is curing me of those ills. Things are slightly calmer, things are looking a bit more rosy, and tonight after work I had an awesome evening all to myself. And instead of just coming straight home and vegging out in front of the TV, I did something I hadn't done in a long time.
I had a date with myself.
I headed over to the YMCA and after getting my brand spankin' new membership card made by a sweetly shy high school student (who struck up a conversation with me about USC, since it is a college he is considering), I headed into the fitness center and found an elliptical machine just waiting for me. I'd forgotten how wonderfully hard my body could work, until 9 minutes into my 20 minute session my thighs were screaming at me just enough to make me push through it. Man, I missed the gym.
I spent a quick 15 minutes on a treadmill afterwards, cooling off and letting my heart slow back down out of the cardio training range, and when I stepped off of it, I felt like I was floating. Mmmm, endorphins. Oh, how I missed endorphins.
I decided I deserved a trip to Target after that, so I spent some time wandering the aisles and picking up Sonia Kashuk perfumes (which I really absurdly adore, considering how stupidly cheap they are) and hair dye and new earphones to use with the spiffy televisions that are mounted on all the cardio machines at the gym. Kevin's not getting home until much later tonight, so I decided I also deserved dinner at the local Souplantation. That giant salad and tasty chicken tortilla soup were even more perfect accompanied by a fantastic Jonathan Kellerman book I checked out on Sunday.
I think I need to make a date with myself more often. Time to just sit and think (or not), without anyone near me who knows me. I feel calmer tonight than I have in months.
And now there's a book and a bed and a cat all calling my name, waiting for me to snuggle in for the night. I think I'll take them up on their offer.
Anyway, this week is curing me of those ills. Things are slightly calmer, things are looking a bit more rosy, and tonight after work I had an awesome evening all to myself. And instead of just coming straight home and vegging out in front of the TV, I did something I hadn't done in a long time.
I had a date with myself.
I headed over to the YMCA and after getting my brand spankin' new membership card made by a sweetly shy high school student (who struck up a conversation with me about USC, since it is a college he is considering), I headed into the fitness center and found an elliptical machine just waiting for me. I'd forgotten how wonderfully hard my body could work, until 9 minutes into my 20 minute session my thighs were screaming at me just enough to make me push through it. Man, I missed the gym.
I spent a quick 15 minutes on a treadmill afterwards, cooling off and letting my heart slow back down out of the cardio training range, and when I stepped off of it, I felt like I was floating. Mmmm, endorphins. Oh, how I missed endorphins.
I decided I deserved a trip to Target after that, so I spent some time wandering the aisles and picking up Sonia Kashuk perfumes (which I really absurdly adore, considering how stupidly cheap they are) and hair dye and new earphones to use with the spiffy televisions that are mounted on all the cardio machines at the gym. Kevin's not getting home until much later tonight, so I decided I also deserved dinner at the local Souplantation. That giant salad and tasty chicken tortilla soup were even more perfect accompanied by a fantastic Jonathan Kellerman book I checked out on Sunday.
I think I need to make a date with myself more often. Time to just sit and think (or not), without anyone near me who knows me. I feel calmer tonight than I have in months.
And now there's a book and a bed and a cat all calling my name, waiting for me to snuggle in for the night. I think I'll take them up on their offer.

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