I went to the eye doctor on Monday afternoon (after having forgotten I had an apointment and informing my boss that hey, I would once again be leaving early). I hadn't been to said eye doctor since something like 1999 or 2000. It had been at least 5 years is all I know.
I had the best of intentions about going to see the eye doctor because I've known for 3 years that I needed to go get a new prescription. But then one year I ended up spending all my FSA money on crotch doctor procedures, and last year all my FSA money was spent on the MRSA infection treatments and root canals. And I am a cheap ass bitch who didn't want to pay $500 out of pocket for my new glasses. I figured I could just plod along for a bit using the old prescription, which was better than nothing, right?
Then last March, right after I transferred into this job, my old glasses broke. So I had no glasses, needed a root canal and then caught a highly drug resistant staph infection that I almost needed to be hospitalized for. You with me?
A year and a half goes by and I notice that hey, my eyes are really tired. All the time. And then I notice that hey, it's October and I haven't had any big medical dramas and so I have a crapload of FSA money left to spend. That's how I ended up at the eye doctor's on Monday afternoon.
There is one thing I really don't think anyone wants to hear in the middle of any kind of medical exam, and that's a doctor suddenly exclaiming "Wow!" in that way that sounds more like "Wow, that's a gigantic tumor!" than "Wow, you are the healthiest person I've ever seen!" And yet I got to hear exactly that "Wow!" on Monday.
I'm not going blind (yet) but I have managed to cause my gnarly case of esophoria to regress right back to where it was 10 years ago. Basically, I've turned myself into a cross-eyed idiot by not wearing my glasses. On top of that, her fancy new optical retina scan revealed I have two tiny hardening arteries in my eyeballs (one in each), which means I will probably stroke out any day now since according to her, the arteries in my brain and heart are doing the same thing. Oh and also, the goopiness that my eyes have been experiencing is actually a sign that I'm suffering from mild chronic dry eye so she tossed some eye drops at me too.
In other words, I done fucked up my eyeballs by waiting so long to see her.
But hey, I ordered new glasses and they are awesomely adorable on me and I should have enough FSA money to even go grab a second pair as back-ups. So now I can rock that funky librarian vibe I've always dreamed of rockin'.
I had the best of intentions about going to see the eye doctor because I've known for 3 years that I needed to go get a new prescription. But then one year I ended up spending all my FSA money on crotch doctor procedures, and last year all my FSA money was spent on the MRSA infection treatments and root canals. And I am a cheap ass bitch who didn't want to pay $500 out of pocket for my new glasses. I figured I could just plod along for a bit using the old prescription, which was better than nothing, right?
Then last March, right after I transferred into this job, my old glasses broke. So I had no glasses, needed a root canal and then caught a highly drug resistant staph infection that I almost needed to be hospitalized for. You with me?
A year and a half goes by and I notice that hey, my eyes are really tired. All the time. And then I notice that hey, it's October and I haven't had any big medical dramas and so I have a crapload of FSA money left to spend. That's how I ended up at the eye doctor's on Monday afternoon.
There is one thing I really don't think anyone wants to hear in the middle of any kind of medical exam, and that's a doctor suddenly exclaiming "Wow!" in that way that sounds more like "Wow, that's a gigantic tumor!" than "Wow, you are the healthiest person I've ever seen!" And yet I got to hear exactly that "Wow!" on Monday.
I'm not going blind (yet) but I have managed to cause my gnarly case of esophoria to regress right back to where it was 10 years ago. Basically, I've turned myself into a cross-eyed idiot by not wearing my glasses. On top of that, her fancy new optical retina scan revealed I have two tiny hardening arteries in my eyeballs (one in each), which means I will probably stroke out any day now since according to her, the arteries in my brain and heart are doing the same thing. Oh and also, the goopiness that my eyes have been experiencing is actually a sign that I'm suffering from mild chronic dry eye so she tossed some eye drops at me too.
In other words, I done fucked up my eyeballs by waiting so long to see her.
But hey, I ordered new glasses and they are awesomely adorable on me and I should have enough FSA money to even go grab a second pair as back-ups. So now I can rock that funky librarian vibe I've always dreamed of rockin'.
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