All Things Woompty

The beginning does not match the end

When I was a freshman in college, I lived in the dorms on campus. As such, I (of course) had a Resident Advisor. And I was even lucky enough to get to live in the room directly across from our RA. Yay! The only problem was that our RA, Mandy, was a total and complete freak. She wasn't much of one to follow rules. She blatantly broke the no pets rule by keeping a baby rosy boa in the room, and sometime around the second semester she started sleeping with one of the guys on our floor (who was the most obvious alcoholic I have ever known). The night of the Northridge quake, she was out at some club or another (despite being underage), and was scheduled to have been home hours before the quake happened. Too bad she showed up hours later.

Someone once told me that Mandy was all screwy because she grew up as a Korean adoptee in a very small, very white town in Minnesota. Personally, I think it might have been the drugs that screwed her up but what do I know? I do know that one night a drunk friend of hers showed up around 3 in the morning, banging on my door and demanding to know where Mandy was, since living across from her apparently meant that I knew her every move.

Sometime during my junior year, I heard through the grapevine that Mandy had been in a porn movie during her freshman year (before she became the world's flakiest RA). It didn't surprise me to hear that, but I kinda figured it was just a rumor. Because come on, it was way too outrageous to believe. At least, it was until I ran into a couple of old dorm mates in a cinema class my senior year.

I mentioned the rumor to my dorm buddies, Aaron and Willie. And they told me that not only was it true and they had seen said porn movie, they even managed to make a copy of the Mandy scenes and had it at home because they loved being the guys with the proof. Somehow, our conversation devolved to a point that we had decided that we needed to have a screening of the movie, which they told me was a really badly done amateur film that focused on Asian women taking it in the ass for the first time.

Yeah.

And so a week later, there we were...7 of us from freshman year, gathered around the TV in the apartment I shared with Chris. Mandy was quite the trooper, I muct say. But the guy in the video...gah. Big government issue glasses, balding with a stringy ponytail. Pot bellied too, and worst of all...he left his black socks on through the whole thing! The entire experience was really just creepy, and while it entertained us a bit, I think we all felt bad for Mandy by the end of it.

Anyway, there's a guy on our bowling league who is a dead ringer for the guy from the porn that Mandy starred in. Same ponytail, same pot belly, same bald spot. Truly a doppelganger. And it creeps me out to see him every week we bowl.

My teammate Leslie thinks we should ask him if he's ever starred in any amateur films. I think not.

posted by Melinda @ 10:38 PM