Stressed? Nah, not me.

This is a turbulent time for me, and it makes me quiet. Overwhelmed, overspent, overstressed. I have nothing but good things in my life right now and yet all I want to do is curl up in my bed for a week and not see anyone or talk to anyone or go to work. But I can't, because I have Things To Do and Places To Go and Obligations. This is my life, this is what I always wanted but now.....I'm tired.

It's all going well though. JournalCon is shaping up nicely. The wedding plans are clipping along and dress angst that threatened to swallow me whole was narrowly averted. It was then quickly replaced by angst about the engagement photos that are being taken on Friday afternoon, because while I am usually photogenic, I am afraid that even these fantastic photographers will not be able to make me look as beautiful as I want to look.

I need to clean the house, I need to do laundry, I need to finish our wedding website, I need to get our save the dates ready to be sent out, I need to call any number of friends, I need do the dishes, I need to get my oil changed, I need to get my desk cleared off at work, I need to pay the phone bill, I need to reserve a room at the Westin, I need to update the JournalCon webpage, I need to pack my lunch for tomorrow, I need to clean the cat box, I need to pick up more cat food, I need to iron my skirt for the engagement party on Saturday.

I need to breathe.

I'm so going to hell it's not even funny

Every time I see that Brennan kid on TV (you know the one, the kid who was lost in the Utah wilderness for four days?), all I can think is "Geez, that kid is funny looking. Totally looks like a future serial killer." I will be very happy when they stop showing his strange looking face on the Today show every morning because seeing him ruins my enjoyment of my morning bowl of cereal.

And now something to make you laugh....

Tonight while we were folding laundry, we were discussing my tendency to change my mind often and randomly about things and when Kev said something about reserving that right, I responding by saying "I didn't have to reserve that right, that right came with my vagina!"

Admit it, you wish you lived here just so you could hear me say shit like that all the time.

This is your brain on nothingness

Wow, been awhile since I updated, huh? Well, you've waited a long time for something of little quality. Something better will show up later, but I spent three hours on the phone with Dell today and my will to live has been completely sucked out of me.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The people at my job think I am some kind of super fantastic administrative assistant. I get enthusiastic thank yous from the employees I support and one of them actually told me the other day that he has been singing my praises to a project manager whose in a division of 23 that has two admins at his disposal yet still doesn't get enough support to keep him happy.

On the way home that afternoon, I thought to myself that these laurels being heaped upon me are rather amazing considering that these days, I am spending maybe 1/3 of my day actually working. Seriously. I am a slacker extraordinaire at work.It's the damn internet, I tell you. Too many wedding sites to browse through looking for ideas, too many vendors to scope out for JournalCon stuff, too many message boards and webcomics and blogs to read. And me, with my gnat-like attention span, sitting there drifting through it all, working in small spurts in between and somehow still wowing the entire department.

Imagine how amazing I would be if I actually committed myself 100% to my job. I would take over the world in a matter of weeks, I think.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Son got married last weekend, so we spent the weekend in Santa Ana surrounded by the people I consider my family. Considering that Kev had never met most of them, he did very well, patiently answering the same questions over and over (Where do you work? Where are your parents living? How long have you lived here? etc, etc ad infinitum).

The wedding went off much nicer than I thought it would (there's some serious drama in the background there that I'm so not going to get into in public because someday my mother may get web savvy), and the weather was perfect. Plus, the weekend presented a nice opportunity to go see Chris Squared so that they could meet Kev too. It was a little weird hearing "You're next!" over and over at the wedding....kinda drove the fact home that MY GOD I AM GETTING MARRIED IN 9 MONTHS. Woo!

Speaking of which, we got our Save the Date magnets this weekend and they are awesomely adorable. Also, we are registering this weekend, which will be awesome as well. We need some new towels, yo.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Have you registered for JournalCon yet? No? Well, you better get on that because dude, the $79 fee goes up in a week. And also, this is going to be a hell of a party, let me tell you. And I will need a serious party after doing the Three Day the weekend before JournalCon.

But if I'm totally honest, I think I will breathe a huge sigh of relief when October is finally done and over with. These days I find myself daydreaming about the honeymoon as much as I do about the wedding because I am going to need that week of doing nothing more than anything else.

Actually, I really need that vacation now, but I can't do that, so instead I think I'll go zone out in front of the TV instead.

One day, you'll drive to Vegas

Like a Painting,
originally uploaded by Minarae.

You leave work on a Friday afternoon and people look at you funny because you're wearing shorts despite the fact that it's 66 degrees and cloudy outside.

You stop for gas and a bottle of water, then decide that some fast food would be good too. You're in such a hurry that you don't even mind that they forget to give you your Diet Coke.

You pop in your Aqua CD, something you do everytime you start a road trip, because it always leaves you in a good mood. You make amazing time until you hit Ontario.

You do not stop at Victoria Gardens to shop at the biggest mall ever, and you speed past all the Coach outlet stores because your fiance may kill you for spending $100+ for a purse right now.

You will constantly watch your car's temperature gauge because you will refuse to turn off you air conditioning when the signs tell you to.

You will ponder things, like the fact that you never truly forgave your ex and you never forgave your father and you will somehow have to figure out a way to do that.

You will go over details of your wedding plans in your head and you will start to miss your fiance even though you've been away from home for a whole 2 hours.

You will pass the exit to the freeway that you took to see your father five years ago, and you will remember how strange it was to sit across from him that afternoon.

You will take pictures with your digital camera because you will find yourself falling in love with the desert and how vast it is.

You'll find yourself thinking that the mountains look like paintings and that the only other thing that feels this big and open and neverending is the ocean.

You'll stop to use the bathroom and grab some snacks, but you won't have to stop for gas, and you will once again think about what a good investment your little Civic was.

But most of all, you'll reaquaint yourself with...yourself. You'll remember all the other trips you've taken in that same car, all those other times you sang out loud and yelled at the talk radio hosts. And you'll smile and sigh with relief when you get to your destination, twenty minutes away from The Strip.

And you'll call your fiance and your friend and let them know you got there safely, that the desert hasn't beaten you yet.

It'll be a good weekend.

I'm slow, but I get there eventually

Today I dashed out at lunch and headed over to the post office so I could finally, at long last, mail off the bundle of thank you notes that I had sitting in the backseat of my car. Thank you notes for my 3 Day Donors. Thank you notes that contained bracelets I promised to said donors...oh, months ago.

So Kari, Bozoette Mary, Mare, Jecca, CosmicCrayola, Science-Girl, Alias Hez, Heather, Measi, and Pratt....a huge THANK YOU to all of you. Your well earned rewards are on their way.

As for the rest of you....I still have more bracelets! And I still need donations! Wow, look how good that works out for all of you. You donate, I mail. Faster this time, I promise.

Memes and weddings, taste great together!

3 names I go by: Mel, Melin, Love

3 screen names I've had: SunBlossom, Minarae, and I think those are it

3 physical things I like about myself: My eyes (which are super easy to play up), my lips (which are just the right amount of full), and my hair (which deals incredibly well with the abuse I throw at it)

3 parts of my heritage: French, English, American South (dude, that is TOTALLY a heritage)

3 things I'm wearing right now: My super cute new shoes, black pinstriped pants, and my engagement ring

3 favorite bands/musical artist: Subject to change at any time, but today they are...Tori Amos, Van Morrison, Ella Fitzgerald

3 favorite songs: No way I can answer this one right now, there's too many

3 things I want in a relationship: Humor, trust, and sex

3 physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to me: Manly hands (preferably long fingered), well built arms/back, good round butts

3 favorite hobbies: Scrapbooking, reading, writing

3 things I want to do badly right now: Get a haircut, win a million dollars, get the hell away from work

3 things that scare me: Ebola, falling, the thought of burning to death

3 of my everyday essentials: Arsoa Queen Silver Soap, mascara, Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Gel

3 careers I have considered or am considering: Teaching (yeah, not so much), nursing (that certainly got backburnered, didn't it?), event planning (I'd really be good at that though)

3 places I want to go on vacation: Europe (Italy, Spain, Ireland, Scotland), Greece, Alaska

3 kid names I like: Molly, Damian, Meredith

3 things I want to do before I die: Spend a few months driving around the country, live somewhere it snows, own a duck

3 ways I am stereotypically a boy: I like to take things apart, I drool over big engines with lots of horsepower, I cuss like a sailor/truckdriver/longshoreman

3 ways I am stereotypically a girl: I have a standing biweekly nail appointment, I buy too many shoes and purses, I am obsessed with my hair

3 celebrity crushes: Jason Statham, Christian Bale, Taye Diggs

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

So. The Wedding. (Okay, that is seriously how I see it in my head when I get to really thinking about it, except with glowy lights and mist for some reason.) It's coming along rather nicely, I have to say. not only do we have the big details worked out, we've gotten some of the little details worked out.

THE SITE:
Angels Landing, which will also be the site of the engagement party my mom's throwing. Reserved, and deposit put down. Wedding and reception will both be held there so that's a plus. We still need to do menu stuff, but I've been told by a friend who got married there that the roast turkey is "very, very good and yummy." All right then.

THE DRESS:
It's been found. Some of you have seen it, but I'm not linking to pictures of it because I am old-fashioned in this area and am not going to let Kev see it until that day. Haven't ordered it yet but I will be at the end of the summer. I've also used a connection to find a seamstress who charges outrageously low prices for alterations so yay!

THE PHOTOGRAPHERS:
Nate & Jaclyn Kaiser at The Image Is Found. They are talented and freindly and all around awesome. They'll be doing our engagement pictures this month so yay, let's see how good they can make us look. Booked and deposited.

THE SAVE THE DATES:
These need to be done next month, but I think we'll be buying little magnets from Vistaprint.com because they are cheap and I am lazy. The magnets will be sent with a little newslettery thing that I have yet to write. oh well. It'll get done eventually.

THE WEBSITE:
Yes, we are totally going to have a wedding website. No, I do not have the HTML skills to accomplish this on my own, so we will be using The Wedding Window, despite the fact that Star Jones in all her drag queen looking glory used the same service. Unlike Star, we will be paying for our own wedding though, so there. And our site will totally be better than hers. It should be up and running by the end of the month.

THE INVITES:
We picked those out this weekend. They are the second one down on this page. I was planning on doing the invites myself but when I factored in the PITA Factor and how cheap these particular invites are, I decided against the DIY route here. We'l be ordering them sometime after we get our engagement pictures so that we have a good, professional picture to put on the invite.

THE KILT:
Yeah, still not sure where we'll get this for him. Might have to send away to a place in NorCal, but that's okay. We'll probably handle this at the same time that I order my dress.

THE MUSIC:
Here's where y'all come in. I have gotten some awesome, awesome mix CD's from people I know online. And we are not going to spend money on a DJ because we're not going to be bothering with the whole first dance thing or announcing bridal parties (since we won't have a bridal party). instead, we're going to use the CD changer and sound system that they provide for free at Angels Landing. So I need good mix CDs. A couple of jazz/40's/50's type music for appetizers and dinner and then a few good dancing CDs with some slow songs mixed in. If you are interested in donating a CD to the cause, let me know.

THE GUESTBOOK:
We waffled a bit on this one, because there were a couple options we liked. Initially, I thought something like this would be awesome. But then I found this site and their guestbooks seem like more fun for the guests, so I'm 99% sure that's the way we're going to go.

THE GUEST LIST:
Done, but missing about a dozen addresses. We need to try and get those gathered by the end of the month so we can send out the Save The Date stuff but we're in pretty good shape. We kept it under 100 and almost everyone on it is someone we've both met, so yay.

THE FLOWERS:
The lack of a bridal party is making this really easy for me. We (and by we I mean myself and some girlfriends) are going to make the bouquets, corsages and boutennaires from wholesale flowers so as to keep the costs under $200. I am not crazy; I have three freinds with flower experience who are going to help me with this. Plus, it'll be some crafty time the day before the wedding with my girls.

THE FAVORS:
In the air. I thought I had found just right favors but now I am rethinking them. We'll see about this one. Ideas are welcome, as long as they don't involve bubbles, plastic swans or bells. Or butter mints. Ugh.

THE REHERSAL DINNER:
Not having one. I'm staying in Julian the night before, Kev and I are the only ones who have to remember anything in the ceremony, and really, it's not necessary. we might do an informal lunch with the out of town guests, but we're not stressing too much over this.

THE HONEYMOON:
Costa Rica. Hopefully for a full week, departing the day afer the wedding. Awesome.

So yeah, we've got this thing pretty well under control, I'd say. And Kev has totally had some input in this, by the way. Granted, it's usually me saying "Do you like Choice A or Choice B better?" after resercching a million options online, but hey, he actually thinks about it before he answers. He's involved, dammit!

Okay, obviously it is time for me to go home.

Letters from a Madwoman

Dear Phone Install Guy At Work:
I understand that they have understaffed your department, and I can totally empathize. But I swear to Bog, if you EVER call me again and start yelling like you did today, I will reach straight through the phone, shove my fist straight down your throat, fish around for your spleen and then remove it. Mother fucker.

Dear Everyone Else At Work:
Who the hell told you it was okay to be annoying, grumpy, pissy, bitchy and otherwise difficult today when interacting with me? It is not my fault that A) corporate is dragging its feet with something, B) the coffee machine is broken or C) you ran out of pencils this morning. Do not take it out on me, or A) I will tell corporate to "lose" the paperwork, B) I will break the coffee machine 5 minutes after we get it fixed, or C) I will conveniently forget where the key to the supply closet it. Bite my ass, numbskulls. Except my boss, who totally behaved well today.

Dear Zappos.com:
I love you for making it possible to buy these darling shoes today, for a mere fraction of their original cost. So pretty! So sassy! So Italian! But I kind of hate you too, because MY GOD, THE PRETTY SHOES. So distracting! So drool worthy! And now I think I will have to buy these ones too, because they are pretty and sparkly and blue and exactly perfect wedding shoes. Damn you, Zappos! But never leave me, please.

Dear Mari Winsor:
Fuck your "one more for luck!" peppiness. I know your secret, Mari. I know you're really the bride of Satan and that the two of you sit around trying to come up with more absurd poses for us to try and follow on your DVDs. And those people in the studio with you! The ones with the absurdly flexible legs? Freaky, that's what that is. I will conquer The Seal, Mari. Mark my words, I will. Just as soon as these ab muscles I didn't realize existed stop hurting when I laugh.

Dear L'oreal:
My love for you knows no bounds. If you ever stop making the Feria line of haircolor, I will cry copious amounts of tears. And then I will take up residence on your front doorstep until you start making it again. You have seen me through black, red and blonde and now, glorious, lovely bronzed chocolate brown. You complete me. Or rather, you complete my hair.


Man, this day needs to be over.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Edited to add the picture that Miss Mare so kindly requested. The hair still has some red tones to it that get really emphasized by the camera flash, but you can tell it's darker.

And also, I am totally hot in this picture.