How lame am I? So lame that in lieu of something witty and clever, I'm going to fill this space with a discussion of the referral hits my blog has gotten lately. Take for instance my favorite repeat offender...."custard boobs".
"Custard boobs", indeed.
I'm not sure what's being searched for here. Is there some secret fetish fout there that involves boobs being covered in pudding? Or was this search generated by a need to see some boobs sculpted out of custard? Or perhaps this person fantasizes about licking custard off boobs? Or maybe, just maybe, it's the name of a delectable treat not known in this country, because this search is alwyas done on GoogleUK. Always. And repeatedly. Would someone care to explain the apparent British obsession with the phrase "custard boobs" to me? Or is this one of those things that is never discussed? And if you are the person who gets here by searching for "custard boobs", let me know. I'm dying of curiosity here.
Next up: "peeing when wearing a kilt"
I would like it noted for the record that somehow I come up #5 on this search, despite the fact that I never spoke about Kevin's urination practices in his kilt on here. And U never asked him either. I just assumed he flipped it up and did his thing. Seriously, is it so difficult that you need to look up instructions on the internet? (Also, it looks like it was someone searching on Swedish Google for this one, which leaves me wondering if it's even warm enough to wear a kilt in Sweden.)
How about this one: "inhaling antifreeze"
Okay, this one and variations on it shows up on a regular basis too and dude, STOP SEARCHING FOR IT! Inhaling antifreeze is bad and can harm your brain cells and KILL YOU. Enough said.
Hey now! "zoot designs blogger template"
Go over there. That's the page that has what you're looking for. All you'll find here is a shining example of how to use her fabulous free templates.
Oh dear, person who searched for "44ddd"....I hope you were just trying desperately to find a bra and not looking for big boobies. Although it does look like that search would get you both. I am especially amused to find out that I am listed on the same page as the New York Stocking Exchange, a site name that cracks me up. And just for the record, yes, I am somewhere between 44DD & 44DDD. It's not an accomplishment and I'm not showing them to anyone on here. Although boobs do seem to be a good way to get referrals, don't they?
But this one is my new all time favorite: "crappy dinners for people who take me for granted".
That is one unhappy person who searched for that. I'm thinking it was a mom whose kids and husband forgot her birthday and instead spent the day demanding that she give them rides and cook them dinner. I hope she made something truly horrible for them. Maybe I'll try and find some recipes that could help her out. Or just send her the link to those Weight Watchers recipe cards that I saw on poundy.com. Now THOSE would be some truly crappy dinners.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Sunday is Father's Day, which means we will be having lunch with The Father In Law and His Wacky Wife.
I think I'll start drinking tonight to make sure I'm good and ready for that. Hey, at least it should make for a good blog entry!
Happy Friday, indeed.
"Custard boobs", indeed.
I'm not sure what's being searched for here. Is there some secret fetish fout there that involves boobs being covered in pudding? Or was this search generated by a need to see some boobs sculpted out of custard? Or perhaps this person fantasizes about licking custard off boobs? Or maybe, just maybe, it's the name of a delectable treat not known in this country, because this search is alwyas done on GoogleUK. Always. And repeatedly. Would someone care to explain the apparent British obsession with the phrase "custard boobs" to me? Or is this one of those things that is never discussed? And if you are the person who gets here by searching for "custard boobs", let me know. I'm dying of curiosity here.
Next up: "peeing when wearing a kilt"
I would like it noted for the record that somehow I come up #5 on this search, despite the fact that I never spoke about Kevin's urination practices in his kilt on here. And U never asked him either. I just assumed he flipped it up and did his thing. Seriously, is it so difficult that you need to look up instructions on the internet? (Also, it looks like it was someone searching on Swedish Google for this one, which leaves me wondering if it's even warm enough to wear a kilt in Sweden.)
How about this one: "inhaling antifreeze"
Okay, this one and variations on it shows up on a regular basis too and dude, STOP SEARCHING FOR IT! Inhaling antifreeze is bad and can harm your brain cells and KILL YOU. Enough said.
Hey now! "zoot designs blogger template"
Go over there. That's the page that has what you're looking for. All you'll find here is a shining example of how to use her fabulous free templates.
Oh dear, person who searched for "44ddd"....I hope you were just trying desperately to find a bra and not looking for big boobies. Although it does look like that search would get you both. I am especially amused to find out that I am listed on the same page as the New York Stocking Exchange, a site name that cracks me up. And just for the record, yes, I am somewhere between 44DD & 44DDD. It's not an accomplishment and I'm not showing them to anyone on here. Although boobs do seem to be a good way to get referrals, don't they?
But this one is my new all time favorite: "crappy dinners for people who take me for granted".
That is one unhappy person who searched for that. I'm thinking it was a mom whose kids and husband forgot her birthday and instead spent the day demanding that she give them rides and cook them dinner. I hope she made something truly horrible for them. Maybe I'll try and find some recipes that could help her out. Or just send her the link to those Weight Watchers recipe cards that I saw on poundy.com. Now THOSE would be some truly crappy dinners.
Sunday is Father's Day, which means we will be having lunch with The Father In Law and His Wacky Wife.
I think I'll start drinking tonight to make sure I'm good and ready for that. Hey, at least it should make for a good blog entry!
Happy Friday, indeed.
4 Comments:
I've been very concerned over some of the searches for measi.net. It's rather freaky.
:)
And who says no one reads journals on the weekend? I need my internet surfage 24/7.
#1 weird hit at my place? 'Blue vomit'. At least custard boobs sound yummy. ~LA
I don't get a lot of weird searches, but "salsa instructor episode #42" was plenty strange.
Actually, peeing while wearing a full kit I could see would be quite a challenge. Thus, I went RIGHT before I started getting ready, and then not again until that night when I took it all off.
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