Before I start, I forgot to mention that I was surprised the world had not ended when we came home from camping because the unbelievable happened last weekend. For the first time in almost four years of playing together, I beat Kevin at Scrabble.
Four years, people! It took me four years to beat him!
And even then, I only beat him by 2 points but still, victory was sweet. When I told Leslie (one of our bowling teammates) about it, she said "Four years? Man, I would have stopped playing with him a long time ago." And yeah, it's frustrating but I usually beat him at Uno for some reason and Yahtzee's almost always a draw, so it's cool. Besides, I beat him with 3 30+ triple word score plays, which is more awesome than I can tell you.
Anyway, the real reason I am writing is because of Star Jones. Yes, Star freakin' Jones. I'm blaming her for the fact that last night I was so riled up that I almost punched a woman I don't know right in the nose. See, since stupid Star Jones and her alien head have been everywhere this week, she of course popped up in conversation during the second night of my MS Access class last night. And along the line someone mentioned Rosie O'Donnell joining the show. And that prompted the bitchcow in the front row with the stupid haircut to say "Well, now that Rosie O'Donnell's going to be on the show, it's going to be all about gay rights all the time."
Now, maybe if she hadn't said it in the same tone of voice as I would have said "It's going to be all about shit on the bottom of her shoe" then I wouldn't have wanted to punch her in the nose. I'm sure she would have said something else to piss me off eventually though, since anyone who would wear jeans that have been cuffed up to the knee and then bedazzled all over the cuff would surely say something else that would piss me off. But since I was technically in a work setting, I settled for saying "Oh GOD FORBID!" just loud enough for one or two people to hear me.
Fucking bitch.
In other news, my weekend should rock. My mother in law (she of the porn audition and job offers from pimps)is coming into town tomorrow and has promised us dinner at Jake's (which, coincidentally enough, is where Shmouse's brother works). Sunday we're going to the zoo and Tuesday is the annual 4th of July cookout and fireworks at Casa De Moms, which we are sneakily turning into an annual party by adding more guests this year. What better way to celebrate our country's independence than barbecuing with lesbians? On top of all that, Monday night is an alcoholic girls' night out with Beth, Shmouse and Laura, so woo fuckin' hoo.
So have a good weekend, ma peeps. Don't drink and drive, don't talk to strangers, and don't do anything I wouldn't do (which really leaves you a LOT of leeway).
Four years, people! It took me four years to beat him!
And even then, I only beat him by 2 points but still, victory was sweet. When I told Leslie (one of our bowling teammates) about it, she said "Four years? Man, I would have stopped playing with him a long time ago." And yeah, it's frustrating but I usually beat him at Uno for some reason and Yahtzee's almost always a draw, so it's cool. Besides, I beat him with 3 30+ triple word score plays, which is more awesome than I can tell you.
Anyway, the real reason I am writing is because of Star Jones. Yes, Star freakin' Jones. I'm blaming her for the fact that last night I was so riled up that I almost punched a woman I don't know right in the nose. See, since stupid Star Jones and her alien head have been everywhere this week, she of course popped up in conversation during the second night of my MS Access class last night. And along the line someone mentioned Rosie O'Donnell joining the show. And that prompted the bitchcow in the front row with the stupid haircut to say "Well, now that Rosie O'Donnell's going to be on the show, it's going to be all about gay rights all the time."
Now, maybe if she hadn't said it in the same tone of voice as I would have said "It's going to be all about shit on the bottom of her shoe" then I wouldn't have wanted to punch her in the nose. I'm sure she would have said something else to piss me off eventually though, since anyone who would wear jeans that have been cuffed up to the knee and then bedazzled all over the cuff would surely say something else that would piss me off. But since I was technically in a work setting, I settled for saying "Oh GOD FORBID!" just loud enough for one or two people to hear me.
Fucking bitch.
In other news, my weekend should rock. My mother in law (she of the porn audition and job offers from pimps)is coming into town tomorrow and has promised us dinner at Jake's (which, coincidentally enough, is where Shmouse's brother works). Sunday we're going to the zoo and Tuesday is the annual 4th of July cookout and fireworks at Casa De Moms, which we are sneakily turning into an annual party by adding more guests this year. What better way to celebrate our country's independence than barbecuing with lesbians? On top of all that, Monday night is an alcoholic girls' night out with Beth, Shmouse and Laura, so woo fuckin' hoo.
So have a good weekend, ma peeps. Don't drink and drive, don't talk to strangers, and don't do anything I wouldn't do (which really leaves you a LOT of leeway).
3 Comments:
I will take those three rules straight to Vegas and let you know how it all works out. Happy 4th!
Well, I *was* going to hold a Roman candle by wrong end, but since you told me not to, I won't. ;-) Have a glorious Fourth, sweety!
LOL... I think you should definitely get an award for beating Kevin at Scrabble... And even though that sentence sounds sarcastic, I am dead serious. It should be called the Fallen House Award, because not only have you fallen off of a horse and got back up (or rather had a horse fall on you), you have managed to show more dedication and patiences towards acheiving your goal then many others ever could imagine.
As a dyslexic that has only managed to play scrabble with Kevin like once, I whole-heartly applaud your victory.
-Sam
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