All Things Woompty

If laughter keeps a person young, we'll never be old

Life with my husband is a secret treasure trove of funny stories. Seriously. Like the other day, when Kevin and I went out to dinner (bacon cheddar burger for him and a Gardenburger for me; one guess as to which one of us is on a diet). I noticed he had a Band-Aid on his finger, so I did what any good wife would do; I asked him what happened to make him all bleedy.

"well," he said, "they moved all our cubicles today. And our IT people decided to just plug things in without arranging the cords well, so there were cords hanging everywhere. But there's these holes cut into the cubes where you can feed cords through so it's not a mess. So I rearranged all my cords into the holes."

"Mmhmm," I replied, thinking that maybe the cord cut his finger or something. But no, that wasn't it.

"So then Sheila noticed that I had done that to my cords, and she asked me to come do the same thing for her. I went over to move her cords, and for some reason the IT people had put her phone cord between the edge of the desk and the wall of the cube so it was stuck in there. I was trying to push the wall back some so I could move her cord over with the rest of them when my finger slipped. And it hit a plastic cover thing and cut my finger."

That's when I started laughing. One question and one answer and I was halfway done with my meal.

See, Kevin has this problem. He cannot for the life of him not answer questions without an elaborate story. Ever. For him, there is no such thing as Point A to Point B. There is only Point A to Point T to Point Y to Point M to Point F to Point B, with a quick stop off at Appendices C, G, and X. This story was a perfect example of that little problem. If the roles had been reversed and it was my finger that was covered in a Band-Aid it would have gone something like this:

Kevin: "What happened to your finger?"
Me: "Oh, I was trying to move Sheila's phone for her and I cut it on a piece of plastic."
Kevin: "Ouch!"

And then we would have gone on about our meal. Instead we had the Dramatic Reenactment followed by Hilarious Discussion about one of my husband's more amusing quirks.

Now here's the thing. It's not just stories that get told this way. He can't give simple directions either. The next day, we were going to the zoo with Arianne and she was going to come to our house. Instead of telling her to get on the 805 and go up the hill, it became "Okay, go from the 8 goes past the 163 and two big malls, then to the 805. When you get on the 805, it goes up because it goes from canyon to canyon..."

I was in the other room getting ready, which is the only reason it wasn't me giving the directions, and when I heard that start, I hollered to him just tell her how to get here because by the time he finished describing the 805 she'd be in Mexico.

You should see the difference between our versions of how we met.

Mine: "We both had journals on Diary-X and I randomly found him through one of my friend's projects. I commented on his guestbook, he emailed me, and we met in person three months later. Been together ever since."

His: "Well, back in 2002 I had just broken up with my girlfriend......blah blah blah.......started a journal of my own.....was reveling in being single since I really never had been.......blah blah blah......went ahead and participated in Interviewed......blah blah blah.......came down to San Diego and met her....blah blah blah....moved down to San Diego....blah blah blah....asked her to marry me....blah blah blah....got married last year. And that's how we met!"

Okay, maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but it's close, I swear.

Don't get me wrong. I love his long, roundabout stories. It's how he is. He talks the way he drives when we're not in a hurry....different routes than usual, with different scenery.

But even though it's cute, I still get to laugh at him about it. That's the way we roll. I laugh at him, he laughs at me. It's a good time for everyone!

Wait til I tell you someday about his narration skills. Those are even funnier.

posted by Melinda @ 1:37 PM