My bra is making my left boob look horribly deformed, my husband does not exist in the eyes of the local cable company, I just sent an FSA claim in that included a receipt for both birth control pills AND condoms, and I have developed an unnatural love for SlimFast Optima Muffin Bars.
That one sentence pretty much sums up my life right now. Both boring and amusing, all at once. Neat trick, isn't it? Let's break it down a little a call it an entry.
My bra is making my left boob look horribly deformed.
I have two of these fantasic "push 'em up and out" bras that I got from Lane Bryant recently, and the secret to their tremendous power are these nifty plastic air pockets which bear an uncanny resemblance to the ones used to cushion the office supplies I order (our supplier has a habit of sending one box of file folders in a bigger box and them filling it with air pillows; I have no idea why but the big boxes doe come in handy). Now, while I do appreciate the lifting power of the little plastic inserty things, they're also sort of annoying. They make my boobs overheat since air can't get through them, and on occasion, they shift and the air all goes to one side and I end up with this weird lump thing that makes me look like my boob is deformed. And today is one of those occasions. Bah.
My husband does not exist in the eyes of the local cable company.
We decided it was time to finally pony up and get cable since we are finally caught up enough with bills that we have a smidge extra every month (and also, I was tired of watching Lost and Grey's Anatomy through snow), so we hopped online and ordered it. We put it in Kevin's name since I kind of included a bill from them in my bankruptcy and they frown on allowing people like me to sign up with them again. Imagine our surprise when they sent us an email saying that Kevin had to put down a deposit and show two forms of ID before they would even schedule the install! Turns out that his social security number gave them no hits on their (we're assuming) local credit check system and they have no proof he exists so he has to go prove it.
Maybe we should put at least one of the utility bills in his name, you think?
I just sent an FSA claim in that included a receipt for both birth control pills AND condoms.
I can only imagine that the receipt will make the FSA processor chuckle and think that I am seriously afraid of getting pregnant and am doing whatever I can to prevent that. This is turn makes me wonder what the expression was on the drugstore clerk's face when he rang Kevin up for these purchases.
Eh, the clerk probably just figured that Kevin was going to cheat with some dirty whore that he had to protect himself from in order to keep having unprotected sex with the woman the pills were for.
I have developed an unnatural love for SlimFast Optima Muffin Bars.
Seriously, these things are freaking AWESOME. Don't ask what I'm doing eating SlimFast snack bars, just know that their muffin bars? Are awesome as well as low in calories.
In other news, my assistant is coming back aprt time on the 25th (yay!), we're redistributing admin responsibilities in a way that will both make things easier for me and nudge me into more of a manager position (yay?), and I only have to work one more day this week (hoo-fuckin'-ray!!!)
That one sentence pretty much sums up my life right now. Both boring and amusing, all at once. Neat trick, isn't it? Let's break it down a little a call it an entry.
My bra is making my left boob look horribly deformed.
I have two of these fantasic "push 'em up and out" bras that I got from Lane Bryant recently, and the secret to their tremendous power are these nifty plastic air pockets which bear an uncanny resemblance to the ones used to cushion the office supplies I order (our supplier has a habit of sending one box of file folders in a bigger box and them filling it with air pillows; I have no idea why but the big boxes doe come in handy). Now, while I do appreciate the lifting power of the little plastic inserty things, they're also sort of annoying. They make my boobs overheat since air can't get through them, and on occasion, they shift and the air all goes to one side and I end up with this weird lump thing that makes me look like my boob is deformed. And today is one of those occasions. Bah.
My husband does not exist in the eyes of the local cable company.
We decided it was time to finally pony up and get cable since we are finally caught up enough with bills that we have a smidge extra every month (and also, I was tired of watching Lost and Grey's Anatomy through snow), so we hopped online and ordered it. We put it in Kevin's name since I kind of included a bill from them in my bankruptcy and they frown on allowing people like me to sign up with them again. Imagine our surprise when they sent us an email saying that Kevin had to put down a deposit and show two forms of ID before they would even schedule the install! Turns out that his social security number gave them no hits on their (we're assuming) local credit check system and they have no proof he exists so he has to go prove it.
Maybe we should put at least one of the utility bills in his name, you think?
I just sent an FSA claim in that included a receipt for both birth control pills AND condoms.
I can only imagine that the receipt will make the FSA processor chuckle and think that I am seriously afraid of getting pregnant and am doing whatever I can to prevent that. This is turn makes me wonder what the expression was on the drugstore clerk's face when he rang Kevin up for these purchases.
Eh, the clerk probably just figured that Kevin was going to cheat with some dirty whore that he had to protect himself from in order to keep having unprotected sex with the woman the pills were for.
I have developed an unnatural love for SlimFast Optima Muffin Bars.
Seriously, these things are freaking AWESOME. Don't ask what I'm doing eating SlimFast snack bars, just know that their muffin bars? Are awesome as well as low in calories.
In other news, my assistant is coming back aprt time on the 25th (yay!), we're redistributing admin responsibilities in a way that will both make things easier for me and nudge me into more of a manager position (yay?), and I only have to work one more day this week (hoo-fuckin'-ray!!!)
3 Comments:
Wow. Overheating boobs. I can only imagine! ;-)
hooray for air pillows.
mmmm... the muffin bars are good. I like their cookie bars too. They have less vitamin content.. BUT they also have less fat/cal content than a regular cookie and they hit the spot when I have the munchies.
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