Today was NOT a good day

Argh
Originally uploaded by Minarae.

I don't know why, but everyone and everything just annoyed the fuck out of me today.

We've had not one but TWO last minute international travel situations spring up in the past week, and the people requesting it were running around in such clusterfucks they gave me a headache. But we got both of them handled and everything's good. Except for one thing: everyone now thinks that my assistant is some kind of fucking miracle worker for getting the trips set up. My boss was making some stupid noise about doing a special thank you for her.

Oh, I sound like a total bitch right now, don't I? But here's the thing. She got it done because I fucking walked her through it and told her what to do every step of the way to get this crap done. I was the one running interference between her and the employees and this shit would not have gotten done without me. Not only that, THIS IS HER FUCKING JOB. This is all she does, and I used to do this shit plus my own job but did I get fawned over? No, no I did not.

Gah. I know I really shouldn't be annoyed by this because A) it means that I trained her really well and B) I still make twice as much as her and C) my boss just gave me a glowing review in which he called me both "very smart with good common sense" and a "major asset", followed by a promotion and a lovely raise. I'll get over it. But for today, I am cranky about it.

And I am cranky because it was just one of those days.

I woke up late, and it was raining and I had to deal with stupid rain traffic.

Then when I left to go to lunch, my alarm key fob was not working, so I had to call the alarm company to figure out how turn off my alarm and my other key fob is broken so right now I am having to manually lock the doors. And while that sounds small and stupid, hello, it is awkward and I kept forgetting to lock the doors when I got out. GAH.

THEN! The sun had broken out, so I went to grab my sunglasses out of my purse once I had gotten my alarm turned off and they were broken. I loved those sunglasses. They were perfectly fitted to my face and dark enough to keep my precious eyes safe. And now they are broken and I have to go buy new ones.

And I had to take Riley to the vet, which was a relatively painless experience (for me, anyway) but every damn person on the freeway was driving approximately 52 miles an hour. Fuckers.

And so tonight I had pizza and cake for dinner. Did I mention I quit going to Weight Watchers? Yeah, just til after the wedding because hello, too much stress to also deal with dieting right now. So instead I am apparently eating my way into wedded bliss.

Man, I have GOT to go to the gym tomorrow. Maybe they'll be offering some kind of martial arts class for me to blow off some steam in.

What's sad is that my cats are more interesting than me right now

I was going to take my time and write some big giant post about poor Riley and how pitiful he was when we took him to the vet and got him neutered and it turned out his undescended ball was up behind his bladder and he had all these stitches but was really bute and sweet and cuddly even though Abbie jept hissing at him, but that was a week ago and despite still have the stitches, he's quite all right now and is currently sacked out on the recliner as usual.

So instead I'm going to write about the fact that I came home from work on Friday and sort of crumbled into Kevin's arms and cried about how I am SO DAMN TIRED and there is SO MUCH TO DO before the wedding and then decided to just not think about wedding stuff for a week but then decided to sit down and start downloading CD's onto iTunes in preparation for making playlists but then the CD drive decided to be stupid and I almost had another freakout.

And I'm going to do it all in two sentences! Whoa, that was a little scary.

Anyway, the CD drive has started working again, and we went bowling with Shmouse and her boyfriend today, something which lifted my spirits greatly. When we came home, there was another small pile of RSVPs waiting for us. One week and we've already got 21 people coming. Oh, and we got our marriage license yesterday! We can literally get married anytime we want to now.

The only downer on the weekend thus far is the fact that we are here and not in Green Bay. A small complaint, to be sure. But it would have been so awesome to get to be back at the site where we got engaged, right now, right before we finally get married.

Finally. It's been a year, people. We're kinda chomping at the bit.

Okay, enough wedding! How about some linkity links?

Yesterday was Arianne's birthday and I did not get a chance to call her. So instead she gets a birthday shoutout here. Happy Birthday Ari! See you next weekend!

I have been absolutely nauseous ever since I heard about this story. Fucking South Dakota, man. You guys, go read The HandMaid's Tale because that? Is where our country is heading.

This Blackberry brouhaha could make things interesting for my boss. You know how they call those things CrackBerries? Yeah, he's one of the addicted. Seriously, the man can't go more than 5 minutes without typing something on that thing. I mean, it's nice knowing I can always, ALWAYS get a hold of him (seriously, I could probably email him RIGHT NOW and get an answer) but if I was his wife, I would be praying that the shutdown happens.

And that's all I've got for you because really, I have very little brain power. And I need a nap. Or a coma. A coma would work.

Two things, so that you know I'm still alive

I am trying desperately to return to the regular entries I so adore making, but here's some hilarity to tide you over.

1) I ordered a very lovely patterned pashmina on Ebay yesterday, and like a good buyer I paid promptly. And I received a very lovely thank you note in return.

We hope you enjoy your purchase. Your payment has been received for the following item:we ship your item in two days and we hope it take five days to reach ur door step pl if u are not at home must writ a paper for dhl that where they deliver our parcel.if u dont reicve ur parcel in 7 days u must mail us with your telephone nmumber and ask traking number of ur item of dhl thanks we hope we both leave positive feed back to each other this is sghin of love human mistake is in all over the world we try our best to responce a s a p thanks

I think I sort of adore this Ebay seller.

2) This week, as part of the wedding hilarity, we dropped our rings off to be resized and engraved. But it turned out Kevin's was too big, so we had to go back to the department store where we bought it and while we were there, I found a lovely pair of silver hoop earrings on sale for just $10. So we walked up to an open register, where there were two girls manning the registers. One was sitting on the floor and as we walked up, she said to the other one "I saw my ex-boyfriend and he's totally getting fat. That makes me giggle."

You make me giggle too, you wacky young thing.

Letting my brain get this tired may be hazardous to my health

I'm brain tired.

The end.

Ha, not really! Okay, here's how brain tired I am. I am so tired that I am stupid enough to apparently be unaware of when my very own Bachelorette Extravanganza Weekend is scheduled to happen. No, really. And the only reason I am actually aware of when it really and truly is happening is because I happened to mention the dates I had bought my ticket for at my shower this weekend, at which point every single woman who will be there with me turned and looked at me with horror since they all had tickets for one weekend later.

No, seriously. I really bought a ticket (on Hotwire no less) for the first weekend in March, but myextravaganza shindig is the second weekend in March. I'm just glad we managed to realize it before I got on a plane and showed up a week early. And now it turns out that it's better this way anyway, despite the fact that I am going to have to eat the ticket since those Hotwire people have their nooses to tight on the airlines' throats that I can't change the flight even if I promise a kidney or half of my liver to someone in the reservation center. Now, instead of a bizarre 5 hour flight to Las Vegas that involves a 3 hour layover in Los Angeles, I get to do a road trip with one of my girlfriends and get in earlier. Much better way to start the weekend, I think. Plus, I might make her drive and drink martinis from a Thermos all the way there.

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This weekend was exhausting. On Saturday night, Kris and I were driving back from my mom's house and I felt drunk, I was so tired. kevin's mom was in town, as was Kris, because this weekend was (woo!) my bridal shower. And it was awesome. Presents, friends, laughter, and cupcakes. That pretty much sums it up. It was really nice though, because the gift opening section turned into this nice leisurely story telling hour rather than me ripping open a gift and saying "Oo, I got some pots and pans!"

I also got some sex toys and lingerie, but hey, I think it's required. And no one had to make a wedding dress out of toilet paper, which instantly makes it a good party. Because no party that involves clothes made out of toilet paper is a good party.

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The invitations go out at the end of the week. Holy shit. I think we might really be getting married.

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So amidst all this brain tired idiocy, I'm starting a class on Wednesday night that my boss is paying large amounts of money for. It will actually be a good course for me, but here's the thing. My boss is required to attend the orientation with me and there will be a "group exercise" that involves a pre-assesment thingy that we both have to fill out about me. A lot pf personality crap which...ew. I don't think I want my boss analyzing my personality or my work style all that much, and I certainly don't want to be doing any twee personality exercise with him. It's the only thing that's bad about this course, which is essentially a year long administrative certification that will get my skills in Microsoft Office sharpened up, along with a bunch of other crazy admin crap. And so on and so forth.

My review is also in process, which should be interesting since last year's review basically involved my boss telling me (over the course of an hour) to be more equally nice to everyone and me telling him to give me more money. And there is no way I'm ever going to equally nice to everyone because some people are assholes and I cannot be nice to them if I want to stay sane. Maybe I shouldn't have spent half an hour debating the minutiae of AP procedures with him today, because he hatres when I debate things with him, I think. Because I am stubborn and so is he and we both interrupt each other and dammit, he's the boss and I'm the admin and why am I not just nodding and saying okay?

Eh, it's good for him to be challenged once in awhile. Or something.

This entry is what living with me is really like

I sent a drunk email to Coleen on Friday. It probably made more sense than this entry does.

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I bought some shoes last week that are pretty much hooker shoes. And I bought them to wear in Las Vegas, with jeans and a black slutty top and a white feather boa sprinkled through with silver tinsel. Why? Well, because those silver hooker shoes are my Bachelorette Party Shoes. Some people mark milestones in their lives with engraved photo frames, I mark mine with shoes.

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Last week I also went and bought a second white bustier to wear with the wedding dress since I managed to pick one out that necessitates a strapless bra. The words of doom for anyone over a C cup: Strapless Bra!! Anyway, I found one, and it's even kinda pretty. It's also a 44DDD. No, that is not a typo. Yes, I refuse to call it an E because E's are for porn stars. And yet, my everyday bras are still a comfy DD...thank goodness because if they weren't I would have to legally change my name to Chesty LaRue.

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In two weeks, Riley will be losing his manhood. That's right, I'm finally going to get Uniball clipped. I just got tired of his constant howling and humping of anything soft during this past hormone fluctuation. He's usually pretty mellow and never sprays, is the opposite of aggressive, and yes, Abbie is spayed. So when his second ball never deigned to drop when he was a kitten, I just let him be. I didn't want to let them cut him open to try and find the errant testicle, so he got to keep them both. But he still got all horny once a year or so and this latest round was just horrid; there's only so many times a woman can wake up to her cat humping the pillow her head is resting on before she snaps. So that's it, no more balls for Riley. Abbie (and every pillow in the house) is thrilled beyond belief.

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This weekend is my wedding shower, and I am thrilled beyond belief. All my friends in one room, good food and presents. What more could a girl ask for? I am going to have to be sure and take a few special coins with me though, since one is supposed to give money to anyone who gives you knives as a gift, so as to prevent horrible things from happening to the friendship. Or something. Whatever, it's something I read on Indiebride that sounded cool. I'll have to look it up and make sure I'm not completely talking out of my ass.

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Dear Writers & Producers of Grey's Anatomy:

If you let Bailey's husband and/or son die, I will have to pay you back in kind. Only with fire, and possibly roving bands of rabid wolves.

And also, Burke should be known as Dr. McDreamiEST, because he is awesome. If I ever need life-saving surgery, I want him to be the one doing it.

Don't fuck this up,
A Woman With Way Too Much Invested In Your Stupid Show