I have a friend whose life is a total freakshow of Very Bad Things Happening At Once right now and all I can do is be a shoulder for her to lean on, an ear to listen to her necessary venting, and an occasional source of entertainment.
I have no funny children to do adorable things that I can talk to her about, my boss is really only funny every so often and that's usually on accident, and she is already familiar enough with my husband's wacky side that there's no new material there. Luckily for her, I recently broke up with my nail lady without informing my nail lady of that fact and am now having to come up with new and creative ways to avoid her.
The whole situation is really very absurd, which also makes it really very awesome.
It all started about 6 weeks ago, when I gave up on ever having my natural nails grow in long and gorgeous and nearly unbreakable like my mother's (the one thing I didn't inherit from her, damn it all to hell). I went in to see Amy, my former nail lady, and asked her to put a new set of acrylics on for me. Four days after she put them on, every single last one of them was lifting, and they were just gross looking...thick and bumpy and filed to a weird shape. And it was my breaking point. This was like the third time I'd had this whole lifting phenomenon happen to me and I did not want to deal with it again. I needed a new nail lady.
My friend (and bowling teammate, no less) always has good looking nails, so i of course asked her where she got hers done. long story short, her nail lady (Bebe) popped off the old ones, slapped on some new ones and not a one lifted in the three weeks I waited between fills. So I cancelled my standing appointment with Amy, vaguely citing a busy schedule.
I knew Amy would call me eventually though, because she has my cell phone number. But that was okay because I had an elaborate lie already concocted about how I was going back to school so I couldn't make it over to her shop anymore and had to start going somewhere closer to school. Kevin thought I was being an idiot and should just tell Amy she sucked and that's why I stopped going, but he just doesn't understand. See, I went to Amy for something like 8 years, which means she's been part of my life for 3 years more than Kevin has. Hell's bells, I wear a necklace almost every day that she gave me for my 30th birthday! I couldn't just hurt her feelings like that!
Needless to say, she called this week. And since I was at work, I got caught totally off guard and managed to forget to tell her my cover story and again went on about how I've just been really busy and no, I'm not mad at her, blah blah blah. And when I hung up, I promptly saved her number to my phone and marked it "Amy DON'T ANSWER" so that I will be able to successfully avoid her forever now.
Of course, I can no longer go to the Ben & Jerry's or Starbucks that are in the little strip mall that her nail salon is in, because she would totally recognize my car and I just don't want to have a whole face to face with her because I think I would have to eventually tell her she sucks and that would just ruin my whole day.
Needless to say, this whole story entertained my friend to no end. And how could it not? I mean come ON, the biggest drama in my life right now is the fact that my former nail lady may or may not be stalking me a little. Oy.
On the good side, my nails have been looking better than they have in years, which makes all the drama worth it. Right?
I have no funny children to do adorable things that I can talk to her about, my boss is really only funny every so often and that's usually on accident, and she is already familiar enough with my husband's wacky side that there's no new material there. Luckily for her, I recently broke up with my nail lady without informing my nail lady of that fact and am now having to come up with new and creative ways to avoid her.
The whole situation is really very absurd, which also makes it really very awesome.
It all started about 6 weeks ago, when I gave up on ever having my natural nails grow in long and gorgeous and nearly unbreakable like my mother's (the one thing I didn't inherit from her, damn it all to hell). I went in to see Amy, my former nail lady, and asked her to put a new set of acrylics on for me. Four days after she put them on, every single last one of them was lifting, and they were just gross looking...thick and bumpy and filed to a weird shape. And it was my breaking point. This was like the third time I'd had this whole lifting phenomenon happen to me and I did not want to deal with it again. I needed a new nail lady.
My friend (and bowling teammate, no less) always has good looking nails, so i of course asked her where she got hers done. long story short, her nail lady (Bebe) popped off the old ones, slapped on some new ones and not a one lifted in the three weeks I waited between fills. So I cancelled my standing appointment with Amy, vaguely citing a busy schedule.
I knew Amy would call me eventually though, because she has my cell phone number. But that was okay because I had an elaborate lie already concocted about how I was going back to school so I couldn't make it over to her shop anymore and had to start going somewhere closer to school. Kevin thought I was being an idiot and should just tell Amy she sucked and that's why I stopped going, but he just doesn't understand. See, I went to Amy for something like 8 years, which means she's been part of my life for 3 years more than Kevin has. Hell's bells, I wear a necklace almost every day that she gave me for my 30th birthday! I couldn't just hurt her feelings like that!
Needless to say, she called this week. And since I was at work, I got caught totally off guard and managed to forget to tell her my cover story and again went on about how I've just been really busy and no, I'm not mad at her, blah blah blah. And when I hung up, I promptly saved her number to my phone and marked it "Amy DON'T ANSWER" so that I will be able to successfully avoid her forever now.
Of course, I can no longer go to the Ben & Jerry's or Starbucks that are in the little strip mall that her nail salon is in, because she would totally recognize my car and I just don't want to have a whole face to face with her because I think I would have to eventually tell her she sucks and that would just ruin my whole day.
Needless to say, this whole story entertained my friend to no end. And how could it not? I mean come ON, the biggest drama in my life right now is the fact that my former nail lady may or may not be stalking me a little. Oy.
On the good side, my nails have been looking better than they have in years, which makes all the drama worth it. Right?
1 Comments:
How odd. I just checked your place like an hour ago hoping you'd updated and notify had crapped out or something.
Always delighted to hear from you and can't wait for Green Bay. ~LA
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