Fanfic Main |
From: mkent@bu.edu (Melissa Kent)
Newsgroups:
alt.tv.x-files.creative
Subject: New Story: Hidden Emotions
Date: 25 Apr
1995 03:57:53 GMT
Usual disclaimers here-the X-Files, Scully, and Mulder are Chris
Carter's. The story is my own. Anyone can distribute it freely as long as my
name remains on it and no money is made off of it without me getting a part =).
This story doesn't contain sex, but is kinda mushy- romantic=). There is
a slight bit of swearing, as well, so if this isn't your thing, please back out
now=). This is my first attempt at fanfic ever (so please be gentle.... I'm a
bit over-sensitive), so I would like any suggestions on how to improve it. Write
to me at: mkent@acs.bu.edu. Enjoy! -Melissa
Hidden Emotions
by Melissa Kent
mkent@acs.bu.edu
4/24/95
Dana Scully sat staring at her computer screen, lost in a random
daydream. Her entire week had been stressful, and she just wanted to go home and
forget the last hour before the weekend began. She was sick of work, sick of
schedules.
She needed a break.
The beep of the on-screen clock when the four o'clock hour arrived
snapped her back to reality. She *had * to get this report done *today. * She
didn't want to have any work to finish over the weekend.
Why can't I concentrate today? she wondered, sighing in
frustration.
The door opened and Mulder walked in, munching on sunflower seeds.
"You look thrilled, Scully," he said sarcastically when he noticed her
expression.
She nodded. "Yeah. Real thrilled. I just can't seem to get this report
done."
Mulder leaned against his desk and crossed his arms.
"Anything wrong?"
"Nothing serious. I just really need a break."
"So go home early," he said, shrugging.
She shook her head.
"No. I don't want to bring anything home with me this weekend. I don't
want to have to worry about anything this weekend. I just want to relax, have
nothing to do, and just...well, veg out for a while."
Mulder grinned. "Veg out? Gee, there's a phrase I'd never expect from
you."
"I'm full of surprises."
Mulder nodded, impressed.
"So do you need help on it? All of the cataloging is done for the week,
and nothing came up today. What do you have left?"
Scully picked up five sheets of paper.
"Just these. I just need to make reports out of them."
Mulder took them and skimmed through each, walking back to his desk. He
turned on his computer and sat down.
"Okay. No problem. You work on that one, and I'll start on these, and
we'll get through them, okay?" he said.
She nodded with a slight smile, and turned back to her screen. The cursor
just kept blinking. blink......blink.......blink. Dana...come on. Snap out of
it. Just get it done. Only one page left, and everything's right in front of
you. Come on. She typed a few words and stopped again for a moment before
Mulder interrupted her.
"Hey-are you sure you're okay, Scully?"
She sighed. "Yeah. I'm just tired, Mulder."
He got up and walked over to her. Placing a hand on her shoulder, he
looked at what she had typed.
"Looks fine to me. Go home."
"Mulder, it's not done. I..."
"Go home, Scully. I'll finish them. You need to take a break. Don't worry
about it," he said, trying to make himself sound as forceful as possible without
insulting her.
Scully ran her right hand through her hair and sighed again. She knew he
was right. She needed the break. But she didn't want to leave her work
unfinished for the week. She hated leaving things unfinished.
"No. I'll get it done. Just make sure I don't drift off, okay?"
Mulder shrugged again.
"Fine. Fine. Gee, you are so stubborn sometimes."
She grinned up at him, receiving a rolled-eye response from Mulder that
was almost the same as the ones she had given him so many times for being
pigheaded. She laughed inwardly, and returned to her screen.
The rest of the report went smoothly. Once she finished another
paragraph, she felt it looked right. She ran her word processor's spell-check,
and set the pages up to print.
"How are you doing?" she asked, turning to Mulder.
He spun around to face her. "Fine. Two of these really aren't ready to be
typed up yet. I wanted to talk to Skinner about them on Monday. The other ones
I'll get done later. But the long one's done."
"Good. What time is it?"
"Quarter to five. You done?"
"Yeah, finally. It's printing, and then I'll take off."
She walked over to the printer, took the pages from the collecting tray,
and placed them back in their case folder. Then she switched off her computer
and got her things together.
"Okay, I'm going. I'll see you Monday.
He nodded. "See you later."
Scully left the room, feeling the weight of the week's events disappear
with each step toward the stairs.
***
Mulder leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling in
thought. He was worried about Scully. Really worried. Lately she had seemed so
stressed out and distant. He wondered if the recent cases were starting to get
to her. No, he knew they were starting to get to her. Hell, in one year she had
been kidnapped and chained to a radiator, had Tooms try to kill her in her
bathroom, been abducted without memory of what happened while she was gone, and
then encountered Pfaster.
And finally had been overwhelmed.
Mulder remembered taking her into his arms at Pfasters house, letting her
release the fear, the anger. He hadn't said anything, but he had been there for
her when she needed him. And that made him feel closer to her than he had been
to anyone else in a long time. But he was still worried that she needed to get
away from the X-Files because they were affecting her so personally.
He rolled out of his chair and paced the room as he tried to figure out
what to do. He continued back and forth in frustration, running his hand through
his hair. And then an idea came to him.
***
Scully locked the door to her apartment with a decisive click.
She was home for the weekend, away from all of the horrifying and paranormal
events that she had to deal with for over forty hours a week. She wanted to get
away from everything for the next two and a half days and forget the events that
bothered her so much.
She proceeded to the kitchen and filled the teapot with water. A soothing
mug of herbal tea and a romantic movie was exactly what she wanted and needed to
relax. She turned on the burner and put the teapot on it before finding a movie
to watch.
Yeah. That sounds good. I need something funny. When Harry Met Sally
is perfect for this. Or do I want to watch Sleepless in Seattle? Oh, what the
hell, I'll watch both, she thought as she skim read the titles on her
bookshelf.
The teapot whistled, and she hurried back to the kitchen. She grabbed her
favorite mug, an off-white one with rose-colored hearts that she had received in
college from her mom as the vase of an FTD floral arrangement. She picked out a
packet of mint tea, placed it in the mug, and carefully poured some of the
steaming water over it. The smell was wonderful---a fresh cup of mint tea always
had a clean fragrance about it that relaxed her and cleared her head of all of
her problems.
She sighed, contented that the weekend was starting, and returned to the
living room. She put the tape of When Harry Met Sally in the VCR and plopped
onto the couch, sinking into the pillows.
Then the phone rang.
Irritated at the interruption, she paused the tape and muted the TV. She
picked up the cordless phone and plopped back onto the couch.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Scully. Do you want to do something together tonight?"
Mulder was concerned about her. She could tell by the underlying worry
behind the pleasantness in his voice. She really didn't feel like going out, but
maybe forcing herself to do something to keep occupied would help her relax. She
bit her lip before responding.
"Um...what do you have in mind?"
"Dinner and a movie. There's a new Indian restaurant near my place that
I've needed an excuse to go to. You up to it?"
She smiled and paused again to think. Why not? Mulder's offering food
that actually is food and not that fast food stuff we're always eating.
"Yeah, I guess so. When?"
She swore she heard him sigh in relief.
"Pick you up in a half hour."
"Okay. Oh...is this dressy or casual?"
"Definitely casual. In fact, Sunday afternoon t-shirt and jeans is
probably the best way to go. Curry has a habit of making a fascinating stain
that never ends on clothes."
Scully chuckled inwardly. As time had passed with them working together,
she had begun to accept and even appreciate his dry humor.
"Okay. See you in about thirty minutes," Mulder said over the phone, a
slight hint of excitement in his voice before he hung up.
Scully softly returned the phone to the charging unit. Mulder was taking
her out for dinner. No, Dana. He's taking you out on a date. How long has it
been since you've been on an honest-to-God date? She was excited, nervous...
she felt like she was a teenager who'd just been asked out for the first time.
What was she going to wear? He said that it was a jeans and t-shirt type date,
but should she dress a little nicer anyway? She thumbed through the hangers in
her closet, and finally decided on a oversized black thermal shirt and jeans.
She changed quickly and glanced back at the clock. Five minutes until he
arrived. Relax, Dana. It's only Mulder. That was the problem, she
realized. It was *Mulder. * Not some random person she had met. This was her
partner, who she spent almost all of her time with.
She let her mind wander through romantic fantasies about her partner as
she pulled her hair into a ponytail. Dana, stop it. It's Mulder, remember?
You do have to work with him again after tonight. You're not a teenager anymore.
Act like an adult, will you? She giggled a little, looking at herself in the
mirror. She even looked like teenager with her hair up and the relaxed-look
clothes.
She heard the pause on the TV go off, and the talk show on the channel
blast through the apartment. She rushed over to it and switched it off,
experiencing a momentary ringing in her ears once the silence returned. She
noticed the still-full cup on tea on the coffee table and picked it up to finish
it. The liquid was now lukewarm, and tasted bitter because the teabag was still
in the mug. She gulped down most of it, but decided to pour the last third into
the sink.
Two soft knocks on the front door made her heart begin to pound. She took
a deep breath and walked over to the door. Why was she so nervous? Was it
because of Mulder? She knew she had developed a strong friendship with him over
the months, but was there more there that she hadn't considered before?
***
Mulder stood in the hallway outside Scully's apartment for a few
minutes before knocking on the door. He was so nervous. He knew he had loved her
for a long time, not only as a friend, but like family. He could trust her, and
he didn't want to frighten her tonight by making an ass of himself. Should he
tell her how much he cared? He had a feeling that she already knew, but just
never talked about it. Just like she didn't talk about what was bothering her.
Maybe it's me she's bothered about. No, he couldn't start worrying about
what if's. He needed to get her to release the pain she was already feeling
before introducing new problems.
He took a deep breath and knocked.
He heard soft footfalls inside the apartment and the slow turning of the
door lock. The door opened, and he could only stare at Scully.
"Scully? Gee, you look..."
She grinned, "weird?"
He grinned back and shook his head, "great. You look great, Scully. I
guess I'm just not used to you dressing like a bureau basement rat." His grin
widened.
She kept smiling, but rolled her eyes in mock- exasperation. "Thanks...I
think."
"Are you ready?"
She nodded, "Yeah. Lead the way to dinner, Mulder."
***
Kashmir was a little basement cafe-esque restaurant two blocks
from Mulder's apartment. Four small tables sat out on the patio, surrounded by
flowery vines which hid the cement walls behind them. Curry from inside the
restaurant could be smelled at the curb, and faint Indian music piped through
vine-hidden speakers to create more ambiance.
Scully smiled as she gathered first impressions. The restaurant looked
nice. Hopefully the food was as good as the decor.
Mulder was talking to the host, and when the man left to check for a
table, he smiled at Scully. He looked much more relaxed than usual. His eyes had
a softer look to them. A small tingle of excitement and anticipation started in
her chest as she followed the host to their table.
They sat silently for a couple minutes as they glanced through the menu.
Neither wanted to break the silence, afraid to ruin the rarely encountered
peacefulness around them.
Mulder was fighting the urge to squirm in his chair, however. He had so
much to tell her. So much that he'd kept inside for far too long. But he was
afraid of losing her again, and he knew he'd never live with himself if she
pushed herself away. He finally decided he needed to say something...anything.
"I always get a kick out of the fact that Indian restaurants have a beef
section on the menu. Seems a little out of place, doesn't it?" he asked in his
normal sarcastic tone, finishing with a lopsided grin.
Scully raised and eyebrow in thought. She knew he was waiting for a
retort, but this time, she couldn't find one. He'd actually made a rather
interesting observation. No, wait a minute...
"Maybe it's a Moslem family," she said, shrugging.
"Except the Ganesha statue in the window kinda throws that idea out," he
replied.
She nodded, impressed at how quickly he responded. She had noticed the
embellished gold statue as they'd entered the building.
"Good point. Okay. So we won't order any beef since it wouldn't be real
Indian food, she said.
She smiled again, letting herself relax. The tingle inside her had become
a small flame, and she was curious to see what her subconscious was conjuring up
for her.
They ordered their dinners and talked about recent non-work related
events until the food arrived. Scully had visited her mom two weeks ago, and
Mulder had talked to Melissa on the phone.
"She wants me to reconsider my aura again," he grumbled.
Scully laughed. "I heard that one a couple years ago. Was it something
like, 'You know, Mulder, you really should reconsider how your spiritual life is
going because if you don't concentrate on it, your aura will suffer.' Am I
close?"
"Almost verbatim."
She shook her head. "I think she's got a crush on you," she chided.
Mulder rolled his eyes. "Oh no. Does this mean I'm going to have to deal
with my aura sometime soon?"
"Probably not, unless you give her an idea that you're interested."
"And how do I not appear interested?"
"Tell her you're already dating someone."
Mulder raised an eyebrow, interested in where Scully was headed.
"Who?"
Scully bit her lip and looked down at the table for a moment.
"Me," she replied quietly.
Mulder took a few moments to let her "suggestion" sink in. She was
embarrassed about what she'd just said. He could tell. But he noticed by how her
eyes kept darting around nervously and how she was fidgeting that there was a
hopefulness behind her words. He sighed. Maybe explaining his feelings wasn't
going to be too tough after all.
***
After dinner, Mulder felt a need to just spend some quiet,
peaceful time with Scully, and not go back to either of their apartments. He
decided to take her to a familiar spot, hoping that maybe their past discussions
on the park bench would help bring out the words he wanted to say.
The full moon peaked out from behind the top of the Washington Monument,
as if it were posing for a postcard. It shone silently upon the reflecting pool,
peacefully illuminating every ripple of the pool.
He walked quietly beside Scully, observing how her coppery hair sparkled
in the moonlight. She hardly noticed him or her surroundings. Mulder recognized
her mood-every once in a while, usually when she was here, she "fazed out,"
daydreaming about something that he'd never tried to press out of her.
He took in a long breath. She looked so different, almost unrecognizable.
Her eyes had softened now that the usual work-related intensity was gone. She
wore almost no expression, save inward peacefulness.
Her mind drifted back to reality as they strolled down the walkway. She
became aware of Mulder's observations, lifted her eyes to him and smiled.
"Thanks, Mulder," she said softly.
He stopped walking.
"For what?" he asked, tipping his head in confusion.
Scully shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing specific, really. Just being
there for me. I never really could figure out how to tell you how much I
appreciate it. Even if you can be a little overprotective sometimes."
Mulder smiled back shyly and stared at the ground. She noticed how his
usual FBI agent poise had melted away. A compassionate, and somewhat awkward-
teenagerish man stood before her, hands in his pockets, trying to think of what
to say.
He softly placed his hand on her shoulder. "I'll always be here for you,
Scully."
Mentally, he was frustrated. He knew what he wanted to say. God, he had
so much he wanted to tell her. But how to say it? He had to have everything just
right. He nervously sucked in a sharp breath.
Scully sensed his discomfort. "You okay?"
His voice seemed distant when he replied. "Yeah, I'm just thinking."
"About what?"
"Us."
And what is he thinking about us? Scully thought, smiling
inwardly. They had talked once before about their relationship, but not very
seriously. Obviously Mulder had thought a lot about this again.
"And?" she pressed.
"I don't know. I guess I just feel like friendship's not enough for me. I
love you, Scully. I love you a lot. And I can't show it to you because of the
Bureau, and because you'll get irritated and tell me to knock it off, and--"
"Mulder," Scully interrupted. "I wouldn't tell you to knock it off."
He blinked. "You wouldn't?"
She shook her head. "No. I'd be a little embarrassed if you did something
really dramatic in public and everyone saw us, but I wouldn't be irritated."
Mulder studied her for a minute, but couldn't figure out what she was
trying to say. His heart and mind fought a silent battle. Should he just clam
back up and leave well enough alone? No, I.... um... I think you're too late
for that. Good luck! He dropped his eyes again and absently kicked the
sidewalk, waiting for some divine inspiration.
Scully shook her head, chuckling softly.
"I hate to think I might be your weakness, Mulder. I've never seen you
acting so..."
"Nervous?" Mulder suggested.
"... normal," she finished.
He snorted sarcastically. "Thanks a lot."
Scully paused for a moment, deciding what to do next. Without telling her
much of anything, she knew what he wanted to say. She reached up and brushed her
hand against his cheek, letting her emotions speak through her eyes.
He reacted to her touch by leaning his head into her hand. Her expression
became even softer and in a dreamy trance, making him realize the feelings she
was trying to keep under control. She's an incurable romantic at heart .. but
why is she trying to hide it? She's even more beautiful when she lets her heart
shine through. He took her hands and brought them down until they were
straight at her sides.
"I think I've found your weakness, too, Scully."
He leaned down, hands still interlocked with hers, and kissed her,
wanting it to last long enough to bring out her romantic side. He felt her tense
and almost pull away.
Oh shit... you scared her. Stupid. You ruined- His panic was
stopped as her body relaxed. She returned the kiss with such intensity that he
felt a warm energy flow throughout his body.
After several seconds, Mulder gently broke the kiss. Her eyes were still
closed, her mind still immersed in the moment. A shy, embarrassed, but very
happy smile spread across her lips as she opened her eyes.
"I think you found it, too, Mulder," she replied.
She saw his eyes look downward again, and sensed his discomfort. She knew
that in that moment their relationship as partners and friends had changed
permanently, and she didn't know how to redefine it. But she smiled inwardly as
she observed his reactions. He's so nervous! He's acting like I'm the first
woman he's ever kissed in his life. And I thought I was the one who wasn't sure
what to do!
"Who'd would have thought that Dana Scully was a hopeless romantic under
that FBI shell," he said, brushing back some unruly copper strands that had
blown over her cheek.
"I think you're worse," she said, raising an eyebrow.
"Nah. About equal." He shivered as the wind began to pick up. "It's
starting to get pretty chilly out here. Want to go somewhere warmer?"
Scully nodded. And what is he implying by that? Dana Katherine, don't
you dare. It's too soon for ideas like that. "How about a movie at my place?
I got a couple tapes from Blockbuster yesterday that I didn't have enough time
to watch."
"What ones?"
She bit her lip, wondering what he'd think of her movie selection as she
realized why she'd rented them. "Forever Young and Mad Max."
He blinked. "That's an interesting combo."
She shrugged. "I needed a Mel fix. You interested?"
"Sure. Mad Max first, though. I think Forever Young is probably a better
movie to go to sleep on due to content. Unless you're able to ignore all the
violence and just want to dream of Mel Gibson in leather jeans."
"Sounds good to me," she said, her eyes challenging him for a response.
Mulder rolled his eyes and shook his head. "This is going to be
interesting, I can tell. I'll get a drool towel ready for you when we get to
your apartment."
"Oh, I'm not that bad," she said, laughing. "Come on. Let's get inside."
They walked back to the care in silent contentment, hands still
intertwined.
***
A little after midnight, Forever Young ended, and the tape began
to rewind, leaving white snow on the T.V. screen. Mulder instinctively stretched
his shoulders and yawned as he reached for the remote control. He glanced down
at Scully, who had fallen asleep sometime in the middle of the movie. Her head
rested weightlessly on his chest, her face relaxed in the enjoyment of a
pleasant dream.
He softly ran his fingers through her hair, brushing it back into a silky
mass behind her neck. He felt her stir slightly in response, but he knew she
wasn't awake. He didn't want to wake her-she looked so content, so beautiful.
But he didn't want to overstay his welcome and have her angry at him after such
a wonderful evening.
"Hey Scully," he whispered into her ear, rubbing her back.
She took a deep breath. "Hmm?"
"Movie's over. Do you want to go back to your room and sleep?"
She turned over to look up at him. "What time is it?" she asked, still
only half-awake.
"About quarter after twelve."
"That early? I must have been more worn out than I thought."
"You need the sleep, Scully. You work so hard all the time that I swear
you're going to burn out if you don't slow down once in a while."
She shrugged. "All to keep up with you."
He grinned proudly, playing along with her. "I'll take that as a
compliment."
"As intended." She sat up and stretched out her arms. "Do you want to
stay here tonight?"
He paused for a moment. Was it a good idea? Scully's not one to say
something she doesn't mean. You know that. "You don't mind?"
She shook her head. "Actually, I was kinda hoping you would." She bit her
lip nervously as she waited for his answer.
"I was hoping you'd ask," he said, running his fingers through her hair
again. "My spare set of sweats are still in the bottom drawer, right?"
"Unless you took them home."
He got up and followed her to her bedroom. She got into her closet to
pull out the navy blue pj's she always wore and headed to the bathroom. A few
minutes later, she reentered the room and found Mulder sitting on the chair by
the window, looking out to the street. He turned when he heard her sit down on
the bed near him.
"What are you thinking about, Mulder?" she asked quietly.
He shook his head. "Nothing. Just zoning out."
She glanced down at the floor for a moment and smiled. She raised her
head again to look at him, her eyes asking him to come to her. He understood,
getting up slowly and sitting down beside her. He wrapped his arms around her
and hugged her.
"I love you, Dana."
She closed her eyes, letting his words sink in. "I love you, too, Fox."
She kissed him on the cheek and crawled across the bed to pull down the covers.
Once under them, she felt Mulder's arms wrap around her from behind and heard
him sigh. She hugged his arms tighter around her as they both fell happily
asleep.
End
Return to
Measi's Stories
--
****************************************************************
*
"That's why we like you, Mulder. *
* Your ideas are weirder than ours." *
* Melissa Kent *
* mkent@acs.bu.edu, measi2@aol.com *
* Wiccan,
Trekker, X-Phile, and definite klutz *
* THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE
*
****************************************************************
|
|